PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BRUCE CARLSON
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- L: "And Last".
- I: Idea for Contest.
||Nextra! Nextra! The year in preview
||Name some humorous event to happen in 2019.
||The year in redo, Part 2
||Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254.
||It's a med, med, med, med world
||Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat.
||Give us a "then/now" joke.
||Stick it to us with a magnet
||Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet.
||A little sixty-four play
||Fashion an entry by selecting one element from each of the provided menu groups. Make sure you indicate the combination you chose (e.g., 2-C-iii).
||H I |
||From the creators of …
||Think up a spinoff of a real TV series, past or present, and furnish a description or bit of dialogue.
||We want hue so bad
||Invent a name for a color and describe it.
||Band on the pun
||Alter the name of a music group or performer slightly -- not necessarily by just one letter, but enough so it's obvious what the original is -- and describe it in some way.
||A(t)tribute to your wit
||Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else.
||H H |
||Just redo it
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046.
||Stick it to us
||Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013.
||Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film.
||Know Your Market
||For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News.
||We Har the World
||Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States.
||Your Mug Here
||Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt.
||H H |
||Making Short Work
||Write a humorous six-word story.
||Coin the millionth word in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion.
||H H |
||It's Delete We Can Do
||Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen.
||Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word.
||Combo, First Blood
||Combine two people whose names contain a common element, as in the examples above. Then describe the person, or provide a quote he or she might have uttered.
||H H |
||Create a new homonym of any existing word, and define. The new word must be spelled in such a way that is obviously pronounced identically to the original word.
||Come up with one or more items from an underachiever's list of midlife resolutions.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]