PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR SCOTT CAMPISI

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
836 Other People's Business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
832 Clue Us In You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid. H
829 Limerixicon 6 Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters di-. H H
726 Limerixicon 4 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-. H H
674 Limerixicon 3 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-. H
643 The Post's Mortems Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005. H
625 Haven't Seen It Make up a new plot for an existing movie title. H T
624 Limerixicon 2 Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with bd- through bl-. H H
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. H H
591 Dead Letters Write rhyming poems about notable personages who have died in the past year. 2 H
582 Perversery Rhymes Update a nursery rhyme or children's song with an edgier text. H H T
576 Well, Excuuuuse Us! Come up with new excuses for any common human shortcoming or imperfection. L
573 Thine Ad Goest Here Propose biblical and other literary passages, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement. H
572 The Limerixicon Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-. 2 H
570 Timeline Rhyme Lines Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter. H
569 Murphy's Lore Give Eric Murphy advice he deserves on the provided questions. H H
563 Take Two Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other. 3
559 Your Slogan Here Come up with a clever slogan or sign for a business. H
555 A Tsk, A Task Come up with a super-wholesome passage of 25 words or fewer that would likely be banned by the admirable, ever-vigilant Neopets.com site. T
551 Lost in Translation Find us some comical translations-and-back using Google translator. Feed some passage of English text into the tool--25 words max--and ask it to translate it into one of the five languages offered; then copy the result back into the tool and ask it to translate that back to English. 1
550 Spring Cleaning Suggest creative uses for things you've already used, or never will use, or other disposable household thingies, singly or in combination. 2
548 Inklings Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies. H
546 A Nice Pair of Cities Choose any two or more real U.S. towns and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake. H
539 Dead Letters Pay tribute in verse to someone who died in 2003. 2
538 Try, Try Again Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners. H H
536 And the Horse He Rodin On Come up with some words we can stick in the back of The Inker. H
534 The Feminine Touch Propose how any male-dominated occupation or institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated. H
529 United We Stanza Summarize in four rhyming lines of verse any famous document, theory, principle or speech. H H
518 Say, Kids, What Time Is It? Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: "You know it's time to ------ when ------." H H H
516 Err Apparent Come up with unwise things to say in any of the provided circumstances. H
513 It's Delete We Can Do Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen. H
512 Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession, to form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person. H
510 Universal Embarrassment What would you like to see Miss Universe Pageant contestants asked live, on national TV? H
509 Be a Real Card Come up with a greeting card rhyme for an un-greeting-card occasion. H H
507 Crocktails Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink. H
506 The Battle of All Mottoes Provide a slogan for any federal department agency, department, office, etc. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]