PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR JOHN BUNYAN
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 2: 2nd Runner-Up; this is second in esteem after the Win, and earns a Loser the crappy prize that used to go to the Winner.
- 4: 4th Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
||What's playing at the retroplex
||Change a movie title to its "opposite" by reversing one or more words; then describe the new movie.
||Our occasional parodies
||Write a song celebrating someone's birthday or other personal occasion (rather than, say, a holiday), set to a familiar tune.
||Tour de Fours X: Go SANE
||Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it.
||Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc.
||Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not."
||Take The Fifth
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 725 through Week 789. Each entry must include the word "five" of "fifth" or something fiveish, or -- depending on your favorite anniversary tradition -- something involving (a) wood or (b) silverware.
||Doctrine in The House?
||State a humorous, original "doctrine" for a person or other entity.
||The Ballad Box
||Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune.
||2 H |
||That's the Ticket!
||Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States.
||Gripe for the Picking
||Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post.
||Tour De Forks
||Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it.
||Make It Simile, Stupid
||Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]