PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR DANNY BRAVMAN

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. H
1066 It's mating season "Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names. H
1059 With parens like these Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. H
1028 Joint Legislation Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". H
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. 3
988 A faster break Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting. H
952 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011. 3
943 Ask backward XXIX You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like. W
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H
934 Same difference Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different. H
917 Wryku Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks. W
908 Recast away Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role. H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. H
899 Clue us in Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid. H
898 Pre-current events Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011. H
897 Catch their drift Take any sentence from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English." H W
896 Other people's business Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice. H
895 Picture this Supply a caption for any of these cartoons. 3
892 Get a move on Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish. 3
792 Clue Us In Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H H
732 The Chain Gang Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush." W
617 Best the Best Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name. H
613 Tour de Fours II Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order. H H W
610 MASH Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. H
609 A2D2 Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2. H
589 Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!) Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it. H
588 Gadget If You Can Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are. H
583 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, from the Washington Post or its Web site from today through next Sunday, and reinterpret it by writing either a "bank headline"--or subtitle--or the first sentence of an article that changes the original meaning entirely. H H
581 Evil Things in Store Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate. H
578 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. H
572 The Limerixicon Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-. H
570 Timeline Rhyme Lines Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter. H L
566 Get Whack Type a two-word phrase into the Google search engine that produces exactly one result. H H H T
563 Take Two Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other. H
558 Set Us Right Send us conservative-leaning humor in any of the provided genres. W
556 So Zoo Us Combine any two kinds of animals, give its name and describe it. H
554 Love the Tiny Tail Stain Write an anagram based on a name or event that's been in the news recently. H
547 Give Us a Bad Name Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one. H
540 Revisionist History, or Badenov for You? State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show. H
538 Try, Try Again Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners. H H
537 The New York Post Liven up any article appearing in The Washington Post or its Web site over the next eight days by giving it an irresponsibly sensationalistic headline. H
532 Short Pans Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art. H H
526 Conventional Wisdumb Answer any of the provided questions. H
525 It Won't Belong Now Tell us which of three cartoons provided does not belong, and why. H
523 Hard to Overstate Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be. H W
522 Being There Set the agenda for a flash mob, one of those existential, Web-arranged, sudden, pointless, instantaneous but brief gatherings of people at odd places, to do odd things. H
513 It's Delete We Can Do Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen. H
512 Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession, to form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person. H H
501 Questionable Sentences Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post and make it the answer to a question. H
498 Unamazing But True! Submit a true fact that is of absolutely no use, but interesting in a weirdly Invitationalist way. H H
491 Hirschfeld Follies Try to figure out which celebrities Bob Staake is trying to draw in imitation of Al Hirschfeld. 3 H H
486 A Word From Our Co-Sponsors Come up with bills the new members of Congress might sponsor. Each bill must have at least two sponsors. H H
478 Do You Mindset? Anticipate items for the Mindset List for the freshman class of the year 2020. H H
477 A Load of Bulwer Give us the beginning of incompetently written novel. H
471 Excuses, Excuses Come up with creative new excuses for not turning in homework, not filing your taxes on time, missing church or forgetting your spouse's birthday. H H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]