||Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided.
||Breed 'em and weep
||Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names.
||It's mating season
||"Breed" any two from the provided list of 100 of the 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown and name the foal to reflect both names.
||With parens like these …
||Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way.
||What have you got to lose?
||Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song.
||Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation".
||Hai there, Martians!
||Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth.
||A faster break
||Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting.
||Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011.
||Ask backward XXIX
||You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like.
||MASH 2: The Retread
||Combine two movie titles and describe the result.
||Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different.
||Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks.
||Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role.
||We move on back
||Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word.
||Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead.
||Clue us in
||Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid.
||Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011.
||Catch their drift
||Take any sentence from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English."
||H W |
||Other people's business
||Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice.
||Supply a caption for any of these cartoons.
||Get a move on
||Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish.
||Clue Us In
||Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.
||Another Time Around the Track
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal.
||H H |
||The Chain Gang
||Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush."
||Best the Best
||Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name.
||Tour de Fours II
||Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order.
||H H W |
||Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid.
||Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2.
||Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!)
||Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it.
||Gadget If You Can
||Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are.
||Mess With Our Heads
||Take any headline, verbatim, from the Washington Post or its Web site from today through next Sunday, and reinterpret it by writing either a "bank headline"--or subtitle--or the first sentence of an article that changes the original meaning entirely.
||H H |
||Evil Things in Store
||Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate.
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions.
||Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-.
||Timeline Rhyme Lines
||Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter.
||H L |
||Type a two-word phrase into the Google search engine that produces exactly one result.
||H H H T |
||Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other.
||Set Us Right
||Send us conservative-leaning humor in any of the provided genres.
||So Zoo Us
||Combine any two kinds of animals, give its name and describe it.
||Love the Tiny Tail Stain
||Write an anagram based on a name or event that's been in the news recently.
||Give Us a Bad Name
||Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one.
||Revisionist History, or Badenov for You?
||State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show.
||Try, Try Again
||Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners.
||H H |
||The New York Post
||Liven up any article appearing in The Washington Post or its Web site over the next eight days by giving it an irresponsibly sensationalistic headline.
||Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art.
||H H |
||Answer any of the provided questions.
||It Won't Belong Now
||Tell us which of three cartoons provided does not belong, and why.
||Hard to Overstate
||Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be.
||H W |
||Set the agenda for a flash mob, one of those existential, Web-arranged, sudden, pointless, instantaneous but brief gatherings of people at odd places, to do odd things.
||It's Delete We Can Do
||Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen.
||Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader
||Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession, to form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person.
||H H |
||Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post and make it the answer to a question.
||Unamazing But True!
||Submit a true fact that is of absolutely no use, but interesting in a weirdly Invitationalist way.
||H H |
||Try to figure out which celebrities Bob Staake is trying to draw in imitation of Al Hirschfeld.
||3 H H |
||A Word From Our Co-Sponsors
||Come up with bills the new members of Congress might sponsor. Each bill must have at least two sponsors.
||H H |
||Do You Mindset?
||Anticipate items for the Mindset List for the freshman class of the year 2020.
||H H |
||A Load of Bulwer
||Give us the beginning of incompetently written novel.
||Come up with creative new excuses for not turning in homework, not filing your taxes on time, missing church or forgetting your spouse's birthday.
||H H |