||Write a clever, funny definition for any of the provided Loser-concocted words and phrases, and/or show they'd be used.
||Well, that's just great -- It’s Limerixicon XVI
||Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gr-".
||Post mortems -- our annual obit poem contest
||Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2017.
||Inkorporation--a change-one-letter contest
||Change the name of a present or past business, store or agency (not just a product) by adding one letter, deleting one letter, transposing two letters or substituting one letter for another.
||The Loser Community gets a week off (actually two) from writing contest entries and will have to find something else to do during staff meetings, sermons, romantic breakups, etc.
||"Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them.
||Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules.
||Back in the saddle
||Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal.
||It's Post time
||Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal.
||Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms.
||There Will Be Bloodline
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.
||Abridged Too Far
||Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines.
||A Hearty Har Har
||Write up a Valentine's sentiment to any personage, or to someone in some generic category.
||An entire poetic form, making its global debut in the Style Invitational. The first line must contain only six words of one syllable each; the second line, three words of two syllables each; the third line, two words of three syllables each, and the final line a single word of six syllables. At least two lines must rhyme. The general subject matter should be mundane.
||WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?
||Come up with Good Ideas and then convert them to Bad Ideas through slight changes in wording.
||Come up with a great answer to any previous Style Invitational contest, an answer you may have thought of after the contest was over.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]