PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR ADAM BELAND
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Key to Ink Types:
- W: Win, whether of the regular contest or the auxiliary contests.
- 1: 1st Runner-Up; rarely seen now, last awarded to Jon Dixon in Week 792.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- P: Prize donation.
- U: Uncle's Pick. Czar kept up an "Uncle" persona for a few Weeks in Year 8, but the data show that it was awarded 72 times, into the Empress era, which is not how I remember it. I'll have to look into that.
||The Tile Invitational III
||Give us a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided seven-letter sets.
||What's to like?
||Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]."
||On the double
||Come up with a double or multiple profession, and explain how each job complements the other(s).
||Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.
||Going to the shrink
||Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it.
||Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song.
||Name a real product or company and supply a stupid question or complaint for the consumer hotline person.
||Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result.
||Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons.
||The Telegraph Poll
||Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line.
||Hyphen the Terrible
||Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]