PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BRENDAN BEARY

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1292 Golly gosh, it's Limerixicon XV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term, beginning with "gl-" through "go-". H H H W
1289 Fake gnus: bogus animal trivia Tell us a fictoid -- a humorously false "fact" -- about the nonhuman animal kingdom. H H H
1286 Mind your P's and B's (and more) Replace one or more P's in a word, name, or multi-word term with a B or with another letter and define or describe the results. H H H
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. H H
1276 What 4? A limerick contest Use a limerick using one of the provided lines as Line 5. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H H W
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comments wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. H
1265 Parody for the course Write a song relating to a class or course of instruction, or to school in general. H
1262 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply one or more creative clues for the provided filled-in crossword grid -- as many as 25 clues in all. H H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1246 Questionable journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or another publication, in print or online, dated Sept. 21-Oct. 2, and pair it with a question it might answer. H H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1240 We GIVE you Limerixicon XIV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gh-" or "gi-". H H H H
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H H
1235 The Sound of Science Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune. H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. H
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H
1220 O pedantry, O pedantry Give us some humorous pedantry. P
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. H H
1218 Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1195 Don't change a letter! Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result. H
1191 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) and dated Sept. 1-12 by writing a bank head, or subtitle H
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. 2
1184 Plan C -- a third candidate? Explain why some novel person (or thing) should be president; you could also suggest a president-veep ticket. H
1181 Put it in Bee-verse Write a short, humorous poem using one of the 36 provided words, all from the 2016 National Spelling Bee. H
1178 A ______ of collective nouns Propose one or more funny new names for groups of things. H
1172 Pieces of 'Pie' Write a short passage -- an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything -- using only words that appear in the song "American Pie". H H P
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect the some other way. H
1166 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in text (not a headline) in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated March 10-21 and make up a question that the sentence could answer 4 H H H H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H H H
1161 Give us four Pinocchios Tell us some false "facts" about politicians, present or past. 4 H H H
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H H H
1157 Clue us in -- a backward crossword Supply clever, funny clues to up to 25 of the words and multi-word terms in the provided grid. H H
1156 Dead letters Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2015. 2 H
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H H
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. H
1150 A deviant character Change the name of person or animal -- real or fictional -- by adding or subtracting one letter; substituting one letter for another; or switching the positions of two nearby letters, and describing the results. I
1148 It's TankaWanka II Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H H
1146 Stick it to us with a magnet Suggest a new Style Invitational honorable-mention magnet. H H
1145 A DICEy situation Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block D-I-C-E. H H
1144 Someone else's business Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for. H
1143 Ask Backwards Provided are 15 answers, separated by asterisks. You supply the questions. M
1141 Mess with our heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online) Sept. 17-28 by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H H H H
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H
1138 Show us your touché Offer an elegantly snide (and original) of anyone living or dead. H
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H W
1133 Are 'hew ready? A contest for clerihews A clerihew is a humorous four-line rhyming poem about a person whose name is mentioned in the first line; in fact, the name must be at the end of that line (or constitute the whole line) so that it has to rhyme with something. The rhyme structure (and we don't want "lazy" rhymes) is AABB: the first line rhymes with the second, the third with the fourth. H H H H W
1126 Picture this Provide a humorous caption for any of the cartoons provided. H
1124 Heed! Indeed: Advice verse Write one of the provided reminders as a humorous poem of eight lines or fewer. H H T
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. 3
1121 The an(n)als of civilization Briefly describe some "bad day in history" -- you may be creative in what you classify as such -- and sum it up with a humorous heading. H T
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked. 2 H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H H H
1108 Hearts of dorkness Write a humorous Valentine's Day sentiment to someone (or to some organization), either real or fictional -- either from you or from someone else you name. Plus an all-new option: We'll also be willing to run at least one really funny, clever, well-executed graphic. H
1107 Send us the bill Combine two or more names from the list of members of Congress on this page to "cosponsor" a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose. H H
1105 A lit obit of fun Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2014. H H
1101 The year in redo Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1047 through Week 1097, except for Week 1050. T
1099 Questionable journalism Take a sentence (or most of a sentence) that appears in an article in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com dated Nov. 20 through Dec. 1 (in print, any article from those days' papers), and make up a question that the sentence could answer. H H
1095 TankaWanka! Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H H H
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
4 H
1084 Limerixicon XI: Fi-, fo-, go! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "Fl-" through "fo-". H H W
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1077 Time marches Swiftly Give us a novel Tom Swifty, playing on either an adverb or a verb (e.g., "We care about the little people, the BP chairman gushed"). H H M
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. 3 H H
1074 Let's go parody-hopping Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical. H
1073 Bank shots: Mess with (y)our heads Quote a headline appearing in the Washington Post, washington.com or another publication, print or headline, dated May 22 to June 1, and supply a bank" headline that either misinterprets it, as in the examples above, or comments wryly on it. 4
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H W
1059 With parens like these … Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H H H
1058 Eastwood Ho Create a good-bad-ugly progression. 2
1057 Sportin' lie Give us some fake sports trivia. H
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase of name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. H
1054 Dead letters Write a short, humorous poem commemorating someone (or maybe even something) who died in 2013. H
1053 Questionable journalism Quote an actual sentence, from The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com, or another print or online publication dated between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6, and follow it with a question that the sentence might answer. 2 H H H L
1052 Clue us in Come up with up to 25 creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms that appear in the provided grid. W
1051 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news. H
1050 Just redo it Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 1000 through Week 1046. H H H W
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H H H H H H
1045 Songs for the asking Take a sentence, phrase or title forms a song and provide a funny question it might answer. H H L
1044 Play it safe Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere. H
1043 Rechanneling celebrity Describe a TV reality show featuring a celebrity pursuing some unlikely endeavor. H
1041 What have you got to lose? Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song. 3 H H
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. 2 H H L
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". 4 H H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H H
1025 In so many words Create an original backronym for a name or other term, especially one that's been in the news lately. H
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. 3 H
1023 Hai there, Martians! Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth. H
1017 Vowel play Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout. H H M
1015 Faux re mi Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians. 2 H H H
1013 Har monikers Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer. 4
1012 The news at 5 Write a limerick about a recent news event. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H H H H H H
1010 Picture this Write a caption for any of the five provided cartoons. P
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. H T
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. H H H H H
1004 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. 3 H
1003 Just do it Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect. H W
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H H H
991 Tour de Fours IX Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block V, O, T, and E and define it. H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H H H W
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. 3 H H
972 Trends and neighbors Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different. 3 H H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H H W
962 Questionable journalism Take any sentence (or a major part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer. 4 H
939 MASH 2: The Retread Combine two movie titles and describe the result. H
938 Free and Lear Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines. 2 H H H
932 We'll call them your-mama jokes Tell us an original "your mama" joke. H
931 Limerixicon 8 Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el. 2 H H H H H
929 Now sit right back ... Write a funny song introducing a TV show, past or present. 2 H
928 Play feature Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question. H H
927 Drive-By Shoutings Write a very short four-line “poem” promoting a product or company, or offering advice to drivers; the poem must rhyme, in ABAB or ABCB rhyme scheme. A fifth, non-rhyming line may state the product name or a conclusion. 4 H H
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. 4
919 Good Luck With 13 Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result. H H
916 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H H
914 Foaling around Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal. H H H
913 Bring up the rear Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term. 2 H
912 Pair-a-phrase Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it. H H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. H H H
903 Bill us now Combine the names of two or more members of Congress as co-sponsors of a bill. 2 H
901 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010. 3 H H H H
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. H H
898 Pre-current events Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011. H M P T
890 Double-teaming Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result. H H H
882 Limerixicon VII Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters dr-. H
881 What's in a name? Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. H
877 Quipped from the headlines Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news. H H W
876 Oilies but goodies Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune. H
872 Har Monikers Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source. 4 H
871 Remarquees Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film. H H
868 Count the ways Give us some musings of a technical wonk. I
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H H
857 All FED Up Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet. H
852 Small, Let's get Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter. H
850 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009. 3 H H H W
833 Our Greatest Hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H H
829 Limerixicon 6 Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters di-. 3 H H H H
826 The Inside Word Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word. H H H
824 Jestinations Give us a slogan for any city or town. 3 H H
823 Wryku Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku. 4 H H H H H
819 Art Re-View These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they? H W
817 Flopflip Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result. H H
806 DQ Very Much Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere). H
803 The Pepys Show Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history. H H
800 Compairison Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result. H H H
799 Send Us the Bill Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together. H
798 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008. 3 H
796 Sincerest Flattery Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote. H H H H
791 The 1K Club Supply a chain of 20 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "Chris Doyle." W
785 The Ballad Box Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune. H
784 Words to The Wiseacres Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life. H H H
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. H H H H H P
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. H H I W
779 Gripe for the Picking Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post. 3 H
778 Tied Games Combine any two sports or nonathletic activities into a single sport or game. H H
777 Limerixicon 5 Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-. 2 H H H H H H H M
776 An Act of Sunny Side Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events. H
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H H M
771 Groaner's Manuals Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization. H H H M
770 A Knack for Anachronism Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age. H
767 Questionable Journalism Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer. T
765 It's Doo-Dah Day Write humorous lyrics commemorating any of the 50 states of the District, set to any of these Stephen Foster songs. H
764 Can You Up Chuck? Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris Facts. H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. H H
754 Canny Similarities Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above. 4 H
751 Strike Gold Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike. 3 H H H H
750 Hit Us With Your Best Shot: Photo Contest No. 4 Illustrate, any way you like, any of the provided five captions with your own original photo. T
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H H H H
748 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007. H H H H H H H H H W
746 We Err The World Give us a motto or short slogan for any country in the world. H H H H H
743 Picture This Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons. H
742 Clue Us In Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache. H H H
741 Well, What Do You Know? Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations. 2 H H H T
739 Lies, All Lies Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure. H
738 So What's To Liken? Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar. H H T
737 No River, No Woods Send us a funny parody of a well-known song, with lyrics that commemorate an occasion other than Christmas or Hanukkah. H H W
736 So, Should I Drive Like Your Brother? Ask a car-related question that would make the Car Guys crack up. If you're not into cars, you can also post a question for advice columnist Ask Amy or etiquette columnist Miss Manners. H
735 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731. 3 H H H H
734 Turnaround Time Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other. H H H H H W
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. H H H
732 The Chain Gang Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush." H H
731 Doo Process Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage. H H
730 Time-Wastes For Everyman Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time. H
729 Otherwordly Visions Take any sentence in an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 1 through Sept. 10 and translate it into "plain English." 3 H H
727 We Get a C-Section Tell us some pros and cons of moving The Style Invitational to the Saturday Style section; or write us up some free promo-ad copying announcing the move. H
726 Limerixicon 4 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-. H H
724 Abridged Too Far Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines. 3 H H
722 Let's Play Nopardy! We supply 12 phrases and you get to provide questions they might answer. The phrases were entries in our Week 717 contest, which asked for Googlenopes -- phrases that showed no previous hits from the Google search engine. H
720 The Course of Humor Events Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram. P
719 We Har the World Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States. H H H
718 Put Our Heads Together Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com) H H H H H
716 The Hard Spell Write a humorous poem featuring one of the 75 words we've selected from this year's National Spelling Bee. H H H H H W
714 Amalgamated Steal Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product. H
708 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal. 1 H H H H
707 What Would YOU Do? Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words. H H H
706 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer. 1 H
705 Simile Outrageous Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references. H H H
704 Another Game of Tag Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional. H H H H H H
703 Freak Trade Agreements Think of one thing to trade for another, and supply a short and funny explanation. H
702 Unreal Facts Come up with a comically false factoid. H H H H
700 Stump Us Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign. H
699 Our Greatest Hit Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. 3 H H H H H H W
698 Let's Get Personnel Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer. H H
697 We Beg You To Differ Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar. H
695 Dead Letters Write a poem about someone who died in 2006. H H H H H
694 Hopelessly Ever After Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing. 1 H H
693 Everything Being Sequel Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie. H H
692 Reinkernation Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 640 through Week 688. Every entry must include the word "three" or "third" or a creative variation. 2 H H
691 Haven't Got a Clue Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words. H H
690 Funnies: How Time Flies Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption. H H
688 Making Short Work Write a humorous six-word story. H
687 What Were They Thinking? Tell us (A) What someone might say in some situation, and (B) what that person was actually thinking when he said A. L
686 It's Baaaaack! Explain why you, or anyone else in particular, ought to have this fine oil-on-panel by Fred Dawson of Beltsville, or what it might be used for. H
685 Thank it Over Tell us some things to be thankful for. L
684 Backtricking Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word. H
683 What a Piece of Work String together words in a single scene, or two consecutive scenes, of "Hamlet" to produce on or more funny sentences, preferably unrelated to the original content. The words must appear in the order in which they appear in the play. H H
681 Ticket to Write Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song. 1 H H H
679 Ask Backwards Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare. H H
677 The News Gets Verse Sum up wittily in verse -- but not a limerick -- any article appearing in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4. 1 H H H H H T
675 Cut Us Some Slack Come up with humorous ways to be lazy. H
674 Limerixicon 3 Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-. 2 H H H H H H
673 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on Washingtonpost.com from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. 3 H H
672 Just Sign This Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign. H H M T
671 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the July 16 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H H H H H T
670 A Test of Character Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar. 3 H H H L L
669 Huddled Messes Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal). H
668 Cut From the Chase Write an original John-Bunnell-style wrap-up to a crime story -- or one for a more minor transgression. H L
667 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through June 26 and supply a question it could answer. 1 H H H H H
666 Bedevil Us Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days. H H W
665 Your One-in-a-Million Coin the millionth words in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion. H H H H H
663 Worth at Least a Dozen Words Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption. H
661 Name Any Good Movies Lately? Give us a funny new title for an existing movie. H H L
660 Foaling Down: The Next Generation Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H H
659 Tell Us a Fib Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme. H H W
658 Not in the Cards Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "FBN" (Funny, But No) by Hallmark but F&YYY by the Empress. H H
656 It's Post Time Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined. H H H
655 Laughing Inside Take any article appearing in The Washington Post or online on washingtonpost.com from today through April 3 -- the more serious and/or mundane its headline, the better -- and write a funny poem or other passage using only words that appear in that article. H
654 It Plays to Recycle Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas. H L
653 It's the Eponymy, Stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence 3 H H H
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H H P
651 Show Us Some Character Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it. 3 H
650 King Us Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an anyday item. H T
649 Across the Wide What? Give us some Virginia-appropriate lyrics for "Shenandoah." H H
648 Caller IDiot Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person. H H H
647 Paste Imperfect Change a headline or sentence that appears in the Post or on washingtonpost.com through Feb. 6 either by deleting up to 40 consecutive characters from it or by adding 40 consecutive characters from the same article or ad. H H H H H H
646 Warped Perspectives Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons. 1 H H
645 A Hearty Har Har Write up a Valentine's sentiment to any personage, or to someone in some generic category. 2 H H H
644 Winter Limp Picks Brighten up the Winter Olympics with some new events and rule. Alternatively, you can suggest a commercial or ad campaign that could be tied in with the Winter Games or one of its sports. 2 H H H H
643 The Post's Mortems Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005. H H H H H H H W
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H H H H H
641 Dreck of All Trades Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it. H H H H H
640 Whassa Motto Wid You? Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories. H L
639 What's the Small Idea? Do you have a senseless idea for improving the day-to-day lives of everyday Americans? H
638 The Little Bummer Boy Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis. H H
637 Full Steam Ahead Write a steamy passage of a novel that's ostensibly by some well-known person who isn't a novelist. 1 H
636 A Song From Tex Arcana Write a verse of a song about sea urchin sushi or any of the other provided ostensibly unlyrical topics. I W
635 I've Told You a Hundred Times Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from than original winners. 2 H H H T
634 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it. H H H
633 Your Secret Here! Send us some original secrets (they don't have to be true). H
632 Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader (Inc.) Give us an original backronym for a company or product. A backronym is a fake etymology that often gets in a little dig at the subject. 1 H H H
631 Picture This What's going on in any of these cartoons? H H H T
630 Hyphen the Terrible Combine the beginning and end of any two multisyllabic words in this week's Invitational, and then define the compound. H H H H
629 Odd Couplings Marry or otherwise combine famous names and supply to result. H H H H
628 You Gotta Have Connections Choose any two or more items from the provided truly random list and describe how they are alike or different. 3 H H H
627 Per-Verse Write a limerick or other short poem with comically awful rhyming. H H T
626 Course Light Come up with a comical college class, along with a description for the course catalog. H
625 Haven't Seen It Make up a new plot for an existing movie title. H H
624 Limerixicon 2 Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with bd- through bl-. 3 H H H
623 Try to Remember Give us an original mnemonic for any list that someone might want to remember. H
622 Our Sunday Constitutional Write an new article or amendment to the Constitution, using on the words contained in the existing document (including amendments). H H H H H T
621 Questionable Journalism Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article in washingtonpost.com anytime through Aug. 8 and supply a question it could answer. 1 H H H H H
620 Keep the Empress Employed Suggest some original, creative ways that The Post could increase its circulation. H H H
619 WordCount Us In Write a poem of no more than four lines containing four or more consecutive words on the WordCount list. They must occur in the sentence in the order they appear on the list. 1 H R
618 Of D.C. I Sing Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune. 1 H H H H
617 Best the Best Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name. 1 H H H H H H
616 Picture This, Kids Supply title and one-sentence synopsis for Bob Staake new kids' project, incorporating any of the provided cartoons. H T
615 Airy Persiflage Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement. H H
614 In-Stock Characters Pitch us an idea for a summer movie featuring two or more of the provided characters. H W
613 Tour de Fours II Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order. 2 H H
612 Oh, and One More Thing What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list? H
611 Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions. H H H H L
610 MASH Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. 1 H
609 A2D2 Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2. 2 H T
608 Comeback Next Week Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments. H H H
607 Contest Fodder Created! Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events. H
606 The News Could be Verse Translate the fine prose of Washington Post articles into verse. Choose any article appearing in The Post of on its Web site from April 17 through April 25. H H H H H L W
605 Truly Stupendous Ideas Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different. H H H H H H I N
604 Fun for the Roses Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. H H
603 Sui Genesis Take one of two of the 50 chapters of the KJV Book of Genesis and draw thou from them, using words in the order in which they appear in the original, your own passage. H H
602 Take a Letter -- Again Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add on letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word. 1 H H H H H H H
601 Anticdotes Give us an untrue anecdote in response to one of the provided Editor's Query topics. H
600 Top of the Inking Tell us some ways the District of Columbia will change now that we have the Nationals. 2 H
599 So What's the News? Tell us what the illustrated events are. H H H H T W
598 Site Gags Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution. H H H H H L
596 Take Her Words for It Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation. H H H
595 Listing Precariously Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form. 4 H H H H
594 History Loves Company Name an appropriate corporate sponsor for some historical event or for someone's life story. H H
593 Take This, Job, and … Come up with some entertainingly awful things that a Job's comforter might offer. A Job's comforter is someone who seems to be offering sympathy but instead just makes the person feel worse, either intentionally or unintentionally. H
592 We Got Gamy Offer us a concise idea for a Super Bowl commercial, or some innovative halftime entertainment, or some inappropriate sponsors, or some ideas for improving the game itself. H I
591 Dead Letters Write rhyming poems about notable personages who have died in the past year. H H W
590 Send Us the Bill Come up with a bill sponsored by any combination of the newly elected members of Congress and explain the purpose of the bill. 1 H H H
589 Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!) Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it. 2 H H
587 The B-List Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings. H H H H
586 God's Will (and Won't) Complete either of the following: "If God hadn't wanted is to ----, God wouldn’t have ----"; "If God had wanted us to ----, God would have ----." 1
585 It's Parody Time Offer, in the holiday spirit of goodwill, some advice--as constructive and unifying as Loserly suggestions always are--to our nation's leaders (or the loyal opposition) as we prepare for the next four years. This advice will be set to the tune of some winter holiday song, either religious or secular. H H H H
584 Deliver Us a Post Come up with some new Cabinet or other positions that the president could establish, and describe the job responsibilities. H
583 Mess With Our Heads Take any headline, verbatim, from the Washington Post or its Web site from today through next Sunday, and reinterpret it by writing either a "bank headline"--or subtitle--or the first sentence of an article that changes the original meaning entirely. H H H H H
582 Perversery Rhymes Update a nursery rhyme or children's song with an edgier text. H
580 United Nations Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country. H H H H H H W
579 Another Brilliant Contest! Do Enter! Write us a sentence or phrase consisting of words beginning with consecutive letters, in the A-to-Z direction. H
578 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. 2 H H T
577 Teledubbies Slightly change the title of a TV show, past or present, and describe it. H H H
576 Well, Excuuuuse Us! Come up with new excuses for any common human shortcoming or imperfection. H H
575 T Hee Hee Come up with new ideas for both front and back of the Loser T-shirts. H W
574 Boor Us Silly Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences. 2
573 Thine Ad Goest Here Propose biblical and other literary passage, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement. H H
572 The Limerixicon Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-. H H H H H H H W
571 A Tour de Fours Create and define a word that includes T, H, E, and S in any order. The letters must appear consecutively. H H H H
570 Timeline Rhyme Lines Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter. 2 H H H H H H
569 Murphy's Lore Give Eric Murphy advice he deserves on the provided questions. H H H
568 Tome Deftness Make a pun or similar wordplay on a book title. T
567 A Running Gag Explain how any of the provided bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign. H H
566 Get Whack Type a two-word phrase into the Google search engine that produces exactly one result. H H H H
565 Anthem Is as Anthem Does Give us a verse for an alternative U.S. national anthem, set to any well-known tune. 3
564 Redefine Print Redefine any word from the dictionary. H
563 Take Two Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other. H H H
562 The LMNs of Style Write a funny sentence (or more) that you spell with only the sounds of the names of letters and those of numbers 1 through 9. H
561 Deform of a Question Take any sentence appearing in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com today through June 14, and make up a question to which the sentence could be an answer. 1 6 A H H H H H
560 The 97.5-Meter Dash Suggest some time- and cost-saving measures so the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens will open on time. H H
559 Your Slogan Here Come up with a clever slogan or sign for a business. H H
558 Set Us Right Send us conservative-leaning humor is any of the provided genres. H
557 Oh, for Namesakes! Take two people, real or fictional, who share some element of their names and explain the difference between them. H H H W
556 So Zoo Us Combine any two kinds of animals, give its name and describe it. H H
555 A Tsk, A Task Come up with a super-wholesome passage of 25 words or fewer that would likely be banned by the admirable, ever-vigilant Neopets.com site. H
554 Love the Tiny Tail Stain Write an anagram based on a name or event that's been in the news recently. 1 H H
553 Picture This Tell us what's going on in on or more of the provided cartoons. H
552 What Kind of Foal Am I? Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces. H H
551 Lost in Translation Find us some comical translations-and-back using Google translator. Feed some passage of English text into the tool--25 words max--and ask it to translate it into one of the five languages offered; then copy the result back into the tool and ask it to translate that back to English. 4 H
549 Show Us Your Best Quantities Come up with novel units of measure, and explain or quantify them. H H
548 Inklings Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies. 4 H H
547 Give Us a Bad Name Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one. H T
546 A Nice Pair of Cities Choose any two or more real U.S. towns and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake. 1 H H H H H H H H
545 Put It in Reverse Spell a word backward and define it, with the definition relating in some way to the original word. H H
544 You Gotta Have Heart Write us some valentine sentiments from one particular person (real or fictional) to another. 1 H
542 Discombobulate Us Come up with both an object/situation and a neologism for it, something that Bob Levey would never have stooped to print in his column. H
541 Celled Up the River Give us a delicious scenario, in which a cellphone yakker's yakking could be taken profitably out of context. 4
540 Revisionist History, or Badenov for You? State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show. 1 H H
539 Dead Letters Pay tribute in verse to someone who died in 2003. H H H H
538 Try, Try Again Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners. H H
537 The New York Post Liven up any article appearing in The Washington Post or its Web site over the next eight days by giving it an irresponsibly sensationalistic headline. H
536 And the Horse He Rodin On Come up with some words we can stick in the back of The Inker. H H
535 Picture This Can you tell us what astonishing news Bob Staake is trying to pass on with cartoons? H H
534 The Feminine Touch Propose how any male-dominated occupation of institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated. 1 H H H H
533 Breed Apart Mate the clones of any two famous real people, living or dead--a male and a female, please--and hypothesize what traits or skills their offspring might have. H H H
532 Short Pans Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art. H H H
530 Tri Harder Take any word, alter it in three ways--by adding a letter, by subtracting a letter and by changing a letter--and redefine all three new words. H H H W
529 United We Stanza Summarize in four rhyming lines of verse any famous document, theory, principle or speech. H H H H H W
528 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? 2 H H H
527 Rite of First Defusal Come up with witty or bizarre things to say to defuse the tension in awkward moments. H H
526 Conventional Wisdumb Answer any of the provided questions. 1 H H T
525 It Won't Belong Now Tell us which of three cartoons provided does not belong, and why. H H H T
524 Around Things Moving Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about. 3 H H
523 Hard to Overstate Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be. 1 H T
521 Hyphen the Terrible Take the first half of any hyphenated word in today's Washington Post (or Tuesday's USA Today) and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and define the new word it produces. 2 H H
520 I, Object These items were ordered by well-known people. Who ordered them, and why? H W
519 Hey, Baby, What's Your Sector? Come up with pickup lines that could be heard only in Washington. H H
518 Say, Kids, What Time Is It? Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: "You know it's time to ------ when ------." H H H
517 Insert Joke Here Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter. H H
516 Err Apparent Come up with unwise things to say in any of the provided circumstances. H H H
515 A Cellebration of Tasteful Living Come up with ways that Martha Stewart can prettify and improve her new prison surroundings using only her skills, her impeccable taste and those resources available to her. H H
514 Ask Backwards You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions? H
512 Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession. To form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person. H H H H
511 It All Impends Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons. 2 H
510 Universal Embarrassment What would you like to see Miss Universe Pageant contests asked live, on national TV? 1 H
509 Be a Real Card Come up with a greeting card rhyme for an un-greeting-card occasion. 3 H
508 Letter Rip Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word. H
506 The Battle of All Mottoes Provide a slogan for any federal department agency, department, office, etc. H W
503 Doody and Muldoon Write poetry that out-Muldoons Paul Muldoon, the Princeton professor who won this year's Pulitzer Prize in poetry. Your poem must be a single quatrain, containing at least one rhyme and references to at least two body parts and one geographic name. H
501 Questionable Sentences Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post and make it the answer to a question. H H H H
497 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? 3 4 H
496 The Style Invitational: The First Dreckade Submit new entries to any of the old contest listed, and try to beat The Very Best of the Past 10 Years. H H
495 Words of One Syl- … Um, Just Short Words Take some complex issue of any sort and explain it to all us morons entirely in words of one syllable. H H
492 Cheap Tricks Come up with extreme cost-conserving measures for these difficult economic times. H
483 Obitter Fate Give us an obit headline for some famous person, currently living or dead. H
474 Alphabettering Create a sentence that uses each letter the alphabet at least once but that would never be heard on the politically correct, genteel, rarified air of NPR. H
470 Czar Har Take the name of someone famous, rhyme it with a product, and describe the unholy union. H W
453 Haiku 2 U2 Write a haiku summarizing the career of any American politician, living or head. A haiku is generally defined as a nonrhyming poem, of three lines. The first and last lines are five syllables; the middle line is seven. H
412 Painful Climaxes Come up with statements that start really dramatically, but leave you sorta flat at the end. H
383 A Kinder, Gender Nation Take an noun and give us a reason or two why it should be either masculine or feminine. H
375 Show Us Up Combine the names of two existing TV shows (past or present) to make an entirely new show. Then, describe the show. 4 H
315 FERMENTING TROUBLE Write a rhyming poem, eight lines maximum, on the subject of cheese or any of the provided items. H
312 BOOKS AND BOOKS Combine any two works of literature--no movies or TV--into one, give its title and describe it in a brief, appealing blurb that might appear in Publishers' Weekly. H
308 GIVE US NO MO Write an update version of those old children's selecting rhymes. Your rhyme must (1) rhyme and (2) conform, at least loosely, to a point-and-shoot cadence that permits the elimination of one item from a group. H
307 IF YOU BOYCOTT THIS TASK / YOU WON'T WIN THE FLASK Come up with rhyming couplets to warn us about the perils of modern life. H
245 LIKE FUN Complete any of the provided "A is like B because" sentences. H
195 THE MARTHIAN CHRONICLES Come up with items for Martha Stewart's December-January calendar of projects. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]