| WEEK | TITLE | SYNOPSIS | INK Types |
|---|---|---|---|
| 607 | Contest Fodder Created! | Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events. | H H |
| 588 | Gadget If You Can | Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are. | H |
| 586 | God's Will (and Won't) | Complete either of the following: "If God hadn't wanted us to ----, God wouldn’t have ----"; "If God had wanted us to ----, God would have ----. | H |
| 580 | United Nations | Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country. | H |
| 513 | It's Delete We Can Do | Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen. | H H |
| 508 | Letter Rip | Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word. | H 2 |
| 506 | The Battle of All Mottoes | Provide a slogan for any federal department agency, department, office, etc. | H |
| 505 | The Rule of Dumb | You are given $1 million. Conditions: (1) You must spend it all. (2) You must use it in a way that neither directly nor indirectly works to your financial benefit. (3) You may not use it to alleviate the suffering of anyone on Earth, or for any public-spirited project other than the joy of stupidity. | H H |
| 492 | Cheap Tricks | Come up with extreme cost-conserving measures for these difficult economic times. | H H |
| 490 | Eyes on Reprise | Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed. | H |
| 480 | In No Uncertain Terminations | Come up with a way to stop any unwanted overture in its tracks. | W |
| 479 | Invest Case Scenario | Suggest new companies in which it might be unwise to invest. | 1 |
| 445 | Another Round of Bierce | Add a few entries to Ambrose Bierce's famous "Devil's Dictionary. | 1 |
| 443 | Sick Humor | Come up with modern diseases of Washington life. | H 3 |
| 439 | No Can Do | Write signs of incompetence. | H H H |
| 437 | The Telegraph Poll | Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line. | H |
| 340 | ASK BACKWARDS 12 | You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? | H H |
| 327 | ASK BACKWARDS | You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? | H |
| 318 | HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE | Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition. | H |
| 316 | CALLING THE TOON | What are these things? | H |
| 305 | ASK BACKWARDS CMXVI2 | You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? | H H |
| 303 | BOOM TIMES | Come up with old and new concerns for the baby boom generation. | H 2 |
| 302 | UNSTATED TRUTHS | Come up with lines that you'll never hear the provided people say. | 1 |
| 301 | PICTURE THIS | What is happening in these cartoons? | H H |
| 295 | PANEL DISCUSSION | Supply the contents of the missing panel in the provided cartoon strips. | H H |
| 294 | PRODUCT LIARBILITY | Take the name of any commercial product and redefine it. | H |
| 292 | PAYING THE BILL | Propose appropriate punishments for President Clinton. | H H |
| 289 | PLAY IT AGAIN, SHAM | Submit entries to any previous contest, ideas you might have thought of after the contest deadline had passed. | H H H H |
| 284 | ASK BACKWARDS MCLXVII | You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions? | H H H 4 |
| 283 | UH-OH | Come up with "uh-oh" lines, statements that occur in the middle of a seemingly benign speech or conversation, suddenly alerting the listener that he is about to hear some bad news. | H H H H H |
| 281 | CALCULATE THE ODDS | Tell us which of the two provided items does not belong with the other two, and why. | H |
| 280 | EXPRESSING IT NICELY | Come up with colorful expressions for any of the six provided activities, to make them sound a little less tawdry. | H |
| 278 | THE STALE INVITATIONAL | Begin with a word. Add, subtract or change a single letter only, and then provide a new definition. | H H |
| 273 | UNSEENS WE'D LIKE TO SEE | Provide examples of any of the provided categories of things that will never happen. | H H 2 |
| 272 | PICTURE THIS | What is happening in these cartoons? | H |
| 271 | YOGI BEARER | Come up with new Yogi-isms, which seem to make sense, but collapse like a soufflé when you poke it a little | H H H |
| 269 | SIGNS, AND THE TIMES | Come up with new, helpful signage for downtown streets. You must state the problem, and propose the sign to rectify it. | 4 |
| 266 | DEFINITELY WEIRD | Take any word from the dictionary and redefine it. | H |
| 264 | ASK BACKWARDS | You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions? | H H H |
| 263 | THE GAME OF THE NAME | Propose a bad name for the provided categories. | H H H H H |
| 262 | CAMPAIGN FOR ONE | Design a line for Niels Hoven to deliver in his campaign for a student government office that will wake up a snoozing audience. | H H H |
| 261 | WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY II | Alter some crucial moment in history, and then tell us the likely outcome. | H |
| 260 | IT'S A SNAP | Come up with replacements for the two hackneyed answers: "Is the Pope Catholic?" and "When Hell freezes over. | H |
| 258 | IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A PAIN. | Choose one or more of the provided super powers and tell us what you would do with it. | H 5 |
| 256 | THE PYLE INVITATIONAL | Come up with hip, contemporary riddles and answers. The punch line must contain a painful pun. | H |
| 254 | DOUBLE JEOPARDY! | Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post, and make up a question to which it could be a plausible answer. | 2 |
| 250 | OH, GREAT | Complete the sentence "Wouldn't it be great if . . . | W |
| 245 | LIKE FUN | Complete any of the provided "A is like B because" sentences. | H |
| 244 | HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE | Coin new words, and provide a definition, by combining the first half of a hyphenated word for any story in today's Post with the second half of another hyphenated word in the same story. | H H |
| 242 | SACRED COW PIES | Take cheap shots at sacred institutions only, places and things that are so noble and wholesome they are beyond reproach, from among the items provided. | H H H 1 |
| 241 | CAN YOU BEAT THIS? | Come up with headlines describing the defeat of one pro team by another. | H |
| 240 | ADDING INSULT | Come up with elegant insults directed at any famous person, living or dead, such as the real encomiums above. | 1 |
| 238 | CHALK IT UP TO STUPIDITY | Propose apologies for yourself in the style of Bart Simpson writing on his blackboard. | H H H |
| 231 | GIVING QUARTER | Suggest a motto for the "tails" side of any of the state-themed quarters. | W H H |
| 228 | MAKE MY DAY | Supply advice to today's spoiled kids about how bad things were when we were growing up. | W H |
| 227 | WILD PITCHES | Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created to represent it. | H |
| 225 | WE RESPECTfully decline to publish any dumb entries by YOU. | Come up with signs for a T-shirt or a bumper sticker that hide the real message in tiny type. | H |
| 223 | ATTEMPTING REENTRY | Submit entries to any past contest, so long as you never submitted them before. | H H 2 |
| 220 | RSVP | Provide an answer to any of the dumb questions from Week 217. | 1 |
| 217 | NO QUESTION ABOUT IT | Come up with truly stupid questions. | H |
| 215 | SON OF A PITCH | Write lavish blurbs in 50 words or fewer so some sucker will want to pay a lot of money for the provided items. | H |
| 214 | ASK BACKWARDS IX | You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions? | H |
| 212 | DUMB AS THE POST | Come up with even stupider crimes than those committed by Montgomery County's "gentleman burglars. | H 4 |
| 209 | WE NEED SOME SEASONING | Come up with the first signs of spring in Washington. | H |
| 208 | SEND IN THE CLONES | Suggest questions a commission to investigate the moral, legal and practical question raised by cloning might consider. | H |
| 205 | SOME PIG | Beg for the prize: convince us why you, and you alone, deserve to get it. | 1 |
| 202 | THE ELEMENTS OF SMILE | Interpret any of the provided computer emoticons, or "smileys. | 3 |