||Back to the drawing board
||Come up with an idea for an invention that still needs a bug ironed out.
||Pumping Prime: Amazon reviews
||Send us a humorous "review" (like the provided samples from our earlier contests) for any of the provided items.
||Well, at least …
||Note some good news for the coming year to comfort -- or "comfort" -- those who are depressed about the change of presidential administration.
||Prime time for some Amazon reviews
||Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon.
||Falsity is Job One
||Send us some fictoids about cars and trucks and driving and stuff.
||Derive us crazy
||Offer a bogus but funny explanation of how a particular expression originated.
||Play it safe
||Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere.
||Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc.
||Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time.
||A faster break
||Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting.
||Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word.
||Write a question that "ought to" be on a qualifying test for a particular job.
||The madding crowd
||Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off.
||A real triple crown
||The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal.
||Take us for grants
||Come up with a proposal to the National Science Foundation or other research-funding organization for a study based on a stupid hypothesis.
||The Grossery Bag?
||Suggest a design and/or slogan to go on the side of the ardently desired Style Invitational Loser Bag.
||Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote.
||Bring on the 'fight' jokes
||Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.”
||Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here.
||Your mug here
||Give us a new design for the Loser Mug.
||Count the ways
||Give us some musings of a technical wonk.
||H H |
||Back in the saddle
||Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal.
||Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words.
||Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never be published.
||Clue Us In
||You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid.
||Give us a slogan for any city or town.
||Be Mister Language Person
||Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer.
||These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?
||There Will Be Bloodline
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.
||What Kind of Foal Am I?
||Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.
||H H |
||Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos.
||Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product).
||H H |
||You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions.
||Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on.
||3 H |
||Gripe for the Picking
||Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post.
||We Err The World
||Give us a motto or short slogan for any country in the world.
||4 H |
||Well, What Do You Know?
||Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations.
||Give Us a Hint
||Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well.
||Look Back in Inker
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731.
||Time-Wastes For Everyman
||Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time.
||H H |
||Beggars For Description
||Describe, without being boring, a cartoon to fit any of the provided captions.
||H H |
||Know Your Market
||For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appeal to the Harrisburg Patriot-News.
||H H H H |
||Pitch Us a No-Hitter
||Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits.
||Another Time Around the Track
||Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in the results of Week 708, and name THEIR foal.
||H H |
||Freak Trade Agreements
||Think of one thing to trade for another, and supply a short and funny explanation.
||Come up with a comically false factoid.
||Our Greatest Hit
||Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.
||1 H H |
||Hopelessly Ever After
||Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing.
||Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 640 through Week 688. Every entry must include the word "three" or "third" or a creative variation.
||Haven't Got a Clue
||Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words.
||Funnies: How Time Flies
||Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption.
||H W |
||What Were They Thinking?
||Tell us (A) What someone might say in some situation, and (B) what that person was actually thinking when he said A.
||Explain why you, or anyone else in particular, ought to have this fine oil-on-panel by Fred Dawson of Beltsville, or what it might be used for.
||Worth at Least a Dozen Words
||Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption.
||Winter Limp Picks
||Brighten up the Winter Olympics with some new events and rules. Alternatively, you can suggest a commercial or ad campaign that could be tied in with the Winter Games or one of its sports.
||H H |
||What's the Small Idea?
||Do you have a senseless idea for improving the day-to-day lives of everyday Americans?
||Full Steam Ahead
||Write a steamy passage of a novel that's ostensibly by some well-known person who isn't a novelist.
||I've Told You a Hundred Times
||Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners.
||What's going on in any of these cartoons?
||Come up with a comical college class, along with a description for the course catalog.
||Haven't Seen It
||Make up a new plot for an existing movie title.
||Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement.
||Oh, and One More Thing
||What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?
||Come up with some alternative museums and exhibits for the nation's capital.