PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR MELISSA BALMAIN

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1280 A la'ugh' a minute with 'air quotes' Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give it a new meaning or description. H
1275 That is the question Choose a line from Shakespeare (or a significant part of a line) and pair it with a question that the line could humorously answer. H
1272 The hex files: creative curses Come up with a creative curse. H
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H
1261 Post mortems -- our annual obit poem contest Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2017. 3 H H
1259 Beat the banned with euphemisms Come up with creative euphemisms for the provided words, or for other words that might offend someone or other. H H H W
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. 2 H
1235 The Sound of Science Write humorous lyrics on the subject of science or technology, set to a well-known tune. H
1229 Gorey bits from A to Z Send us one of more edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. 2 2
1224 We beg you to differ Explain how any two (or more) items in the provided list are the same or different, or otherwise connected. H W
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like 4
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. H
1218 Mess with our -- or anyone else's -- heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in the Post (print or online or another publication dated March 9-20) by writing a bankhead, or subtitle. H
1209 Invented facts: A fictoid contest Tell us a humorously untrue account of how a product or invention came to be, or got its name. H I
1208 A RIP-roaring year: Obit poems Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2016. H H W
1205 Could we just have a do-over? Yes, we could. Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1149 to 1201, except for Week 1152, last year's do-over. H
1203 You've got the powers Tell us what you would do if you had one or more of the six magical powers provided. H H
1200 The definitive dozen Supply a word, name or multi-word term along with a wry definition or description; together, the term and description must total exactly 12 words. H H
1195 Don't change a letter! Alter a movie title only by changing word spacing, changing capitalization, and adding or deleting punctuation marks, accents, etc., then describe the result. H
1193 Poedtry Write a Poed, which consists of four lines: The first line contains six one-syllable words. The second line contains three two-syllable words. The third line contains two three-syllable words. The fourth line contains one six-syllable word (or a name totaling six syllables.  And at least two of the lines must rhyme. 4
1192 Ask Backwards The 15 provided phrases above are the answers. You provide  the questions to as many as you’d like (up to 25 entries  total).  H H
1189 Gee, it's Limerixicon XIII! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ge'". H W
1188 Just short words, one more time Explain some concept or philosophy entirely in words of one syllable. 4
1186 We're always happy to verse you  Write a humorous poem, of any form, about or “by” the anagram of anyone’s name. H
1183 C'mon, be honest with us Write something in roughly the form "If X were more honest, (then) Y. H
1181 Put it in Bee-verse Write a short, humorous poem using one of the 36 provided words, all from the 2016 National Spelling Bee. P
1179 Blasted alphabetical contests . . . Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C -- in any order -- and describe it. 2
1171 What's my (next) line? Take a line from any song and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous rhyming couplet; the second line should match the rhythm of the first, rather than the second line of the song itself. H
1169 Be caustic by acrostic Review or otherwise describe a movie, book, play or TV show (or Internet equivalent) with words whose first letters spell out the name of the work. H H H
1165 B all you can B Change a word, phrase or name by adding one or more B's, and/or by replacing one or more letters with B's, and define your new term. H
1164 'Wait Wait' for us Compose a multiple-choice question about a Ridiculous but True fact or event, with two entertaining wrong answers as well as the right one. One of the two wrong answers may be obviously untrue as long as it's funny. H H
1163 Put it in reverse Spell a word, name or phrase backward and define the result in a way that relates to the original. H
1160 A remeaning task Redefine an existing word or two-word term beginning with P through Z. H
1158 What have we here? Tell us what one or more of these objects really are. W
1156 Dead letters Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2015. H H H
1155 Vowel movement Choose a title of book, movie, play or TV show; drop all the vowels (including Y when it's used as a vowel); then add your choice of vowels -- as many as you like -- to create a new work; and describe it. H
1154 Tabby Road -- songs for cats Write a song for -- or about -- cats or other animals, set to a familiar tune. H
1151 To [a glass], snarkly Write a short, snarky (but witty) note to one of the provided glassbowls. H H
1149 Gestures of depreciation Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession. W
1140 You're giving us a bad name Cite a REAL brand name, past or present, note it original use, and then say what sort of product, organization, etc., that name would be bad for. H H
1137 Be a published author! Give us a spicy title for a boring book, real or imagined. H
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". H
1134 The 'Sty'le Invitational Red'ux' Put quotation marks around part of a word, name or phrase and define the result. H H
1129 Right in the pampootie Write a humorous short poem (eight lines or fewer) incorporating one of the 50 provided words. 4 H
1112 Some SHARP words Coin a word or short term that includes all the letters S, H, A, R, and P. H
1111 When you riff upon a store Use a wordplay on a song title as a name or slogan for a real or imagined business. H
1106 Show your resolve Suggest a New Year's resolution that someone might make 100 or more years in the future. H H
1105 A lit obit of fun Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight line about someone who died in 2014. 2 H H
1102 Let's get Sirius Suggest a new radio channel and describe it. P
1098 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. W
1095 TankaWanka! Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And it must include at least one rhyme. 2
1086 Playing the dozens 1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
3 H H H
1084 Limerixicon XI: Fi-, fo-, go! Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "Fl-" through "fo-". H
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1074 Let's go parody-hopping Describe a stage or movie musical in a parody of a song from a different musical. 2
1065 The ands have it Slightly alter ANY well-known phrase in the form "A-and-B" -- it doesn't have to be Latinate/Anglo-Saxon -- and define it. H
1055 Oh, K! This week, to commemorate both Kevin Dopart and his 1K ink blots: Change a word, phrase of name by adding one or more K's, and define your new term. 4 H H H
1054 Dead letters Write a short, humorous poem commemorating someone (or maybe even something) who died in 2013. H
1036 Just for liffs Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. H H
1034 What's to like? Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]." H
1033 LimeriXicon Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-". H
1029 Ditty Harry Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune. H
1018 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time. H H
1017 Vowel play Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout. H
1011 Top these! Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back. H
1000 We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result. H H
996 A Life-Time opportunity Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish. H
992 Mittsterpiece Theatre Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen. H
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H W
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H
978 A reason to rhyme the news Write a short verse about something that's been in the news recently. H
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. H
973 A real triple crown The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H
967 Overlap dance II Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result. 3 H H
964 The Grossery Bag? Suggest a design and/or slogan to go on the side of the ardently desired Style Invitational Loser Bag. W
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. H
960 Raving reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H W
958 All's Weller Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote. H
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. 3
952 Dead Letters Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011. 2
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. H
949 Putting the SAT in satire Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y." H H
946 Another round of Bierce Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term. H H H W
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]