PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR NED ANDREWS
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- 3: 3rd Runner-Up.
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- M: Title for the Honorable Mentions section, first awarded to Meg Sullivan in Week 652.
||Someone else's business
||Name a real brand, along with something else it would be a better name for.
||Give us some fake sports trivia.
||Choose any two items from the list above and explain why they are alike or are different from each other.
||The Shill Game
||Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company.
||H H |
||That's the Ticket!
||Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States.
||Gripe for the Picking
||Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post.
||Splice Work If You Can Get It
||Combine two words -- overlapping by at least two letters -- into what's known by polysyllabic types as a portmanteau word, and by the rest of us as mash word, and define it.
||The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious
||Come up with fictitious movie trivia.
||Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above.
||H H |
||Boeing Us Silly
||Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself.
||Pitch Us a No-Hitter
||Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits.
||Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product.
||Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the April 29 or May 6 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound.
||What Would YOU Do?
||Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words.
||Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal).
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]