| WEEK | TITLE | SYNOPSIS | INK Types |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1080 | McGonagall with the windiness | Memorialize a modern "tragedy" in a poem burdened with hilariously overwrought verse; lame, forced rhymes; and painfully uneven meter. Get the badness across in one verse of no more than eight lines. | P |
| 1049 | Be rating | Come up with a new movie rating and describe it. | P |
| 1036 | Just for liffs | Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term. | H |
| 1035 | The Empy 500 | Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings. | H |
| 1028 | Joint Legislation | Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation". | H |
| 1004 | Dead letters | Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. | P |
| 991 | Tour de Fours IX | Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block V, O, T, and E and define it. | P |
| 980 | Def jam | Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. | P |
| 973 | A real triple crown | The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal. | P |
| 971 | Double booking | Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. | P |
| 858 | Same OED | Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. | 2 |
| 845 | Reologisms | Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms. | H H H |
| 814 | There Will Be Bloodline | Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal. | H |
| 806 | DQ Very Much | Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere). | 4 |
| 801 | Ask Backwards | You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions. | H H |
| 784 | Words to The Wiseacres | Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life. | H H |
| 774 | Tour De Forks | Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it. | H |
| 772 | Make It Simile, Stupid | Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it. | H |
| 756 | Mess With Our Heads | Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. | H H |
| 701 | Untitlement | Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about? | W |
| 697 | We Beg You To Differ | Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar. | H |
| 614 | In-Stock Characters | Pitch us an idea for a summer movie featuring two or more of the provided characters. | H |
| 604 | Fun for the Roses | Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces. | H |
| 578 | Ask Backwards | You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions. | H H |
| 564 | Redefine Print | Redefine any word from the dictionary. | H |
| 533 | Breed Apart | Mate the clones of any two famous real people, living or dead--a male and a female, please--and hypothesize what traits or skills their offspring might have. | H |
| 523 | Hard to Overstate | Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be. | 3 |
| 419 | Don't Spare the Rodney | Come up with indications that one might not be getting no respect. | H |
| 413 | Bland Ambition | Come up with one or more items from an underachiever's list of midlife resolutions. | H |
| 396 | April Foals | Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces. | H H |
| 387 | By Jingo | Come up with a joke that could be written and understood only by a Washingtonian. | H |
| 296 | BILL US LATER | Choose among the names of any of the newly elected U.S. senators or representatives and propose a bill they might sponsor. | H |
| 244 | HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE | Coin new words, and provide a definition, by combining the first half of a hyphenated word for any story in today's Post with the second half of another hyphenated word in the same story. | H |