||The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5
||Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
||Ask Backwards 36
||Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer.
||We GIVE you Limerixicon XIV
||Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gh-" or "gi-".
||"Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them.
||Cast your Bred upon us
||Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately.
||2 3 H |
||A RIP-roaring year: Obit poems
||Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2016.
||H H |
||Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII
||Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-".
||Are 'hew ready? A contest for clerihews
||A clerihew is a humorous four-line rhyming poem about a person whose name is mentioned in the first line; in fact, the name must be at the end of that line (or constitute the whole line) so that it has to rhyme with something. The rhyme structure (and we don't want "lazy" rhymes) is AABB: the first line rhymes with the second, the third with the fourth.
||Celebrating our differences
||Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked.
||Talk undirty to us
||Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning.
||Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules.
||With parens like these …
||Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way.
||Love the tiny tail stain!
||Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news.
||You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like.
||Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it.
||Tour de Fours X: Go SANE
||Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it.
||H H |
||The cinquain feeling
||Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two.
||Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ.
||Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work.
||Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-".
||Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms.
||Eat our dust!
||Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show.
||Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]