PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BRIAN ALLGAR

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1270 The Style Invitational turns 5 x 5 Write a witty poem, on any subject, in any of these forms:
A. Five lines of five syllables each
B. Five lines of five words each
C. Five lines of iambic pentameter
H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1240 We GIVE you Limerixicon XIV Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gh-" or "gi-". H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1219 Cast your Bred upon us Write a Lik the Bred verse about someone in the news lately. 2 3 H
1208 A RIP-roaring year: Obit poems Write a humorous poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2016. H H
1136 Gaah! It's Limerixicon XII Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "ga-". H
1133 Are 'hew ready? A contest for clerihews A clerihew is a humorous four-line rhyming poem about a person whose name is mentioned in the first line; in fact, the name must be at the end of that line (or constitute the whole line) so that it has to rhyme with something. The rhyme structure (and we don't want "lazy" rhymes) is AABB: the first line rhymes with the second, the third with the fourth. H
1120 Celebrating our differences Each of the provided 17 items appeared in a different Style Invitational compare/contrast contest from 1996 to 2014. Explain how any two of the are alike or different or otherwise linked. H
1090 Talk undirty to us Write a humorous poem in any form (no more than eight lines) that includes one or more of the provided words; the word must make sense in the poem in its TRUE meaning. H
1076 Dactyly fractyly Send us some double dactyls that conform to Gene Weingarten's rules. L
1059 With parens like these Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way. H
1051 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a text with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length, referring to something or someone in the news. L
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. H
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. 4
1042 Tour de Fours X: Go SANE Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it. H H
1030 The cinquain feeling Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two. H
1024 Gorey thoughts Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ. H
1008 Switched reels Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work. H
983 Limerixicon IX Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-". H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
974 Eat our dust! Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show. H
970 Couple it Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]