PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BRAD ALEXANDER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1233 Not The Loser Community  gets a week off (actually  two) from writing contest  entries and will have to  find something else to do  during staff meetings,  sermons, romantic  breakups, etc. H
1232 Picture this -- a caption contest Write a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1227 Celebrate ortho-diversity! Name and describe a new life form -- and no letter in the term may be used twice. H
1223 Post again out to mislead public! Write a humorously sensationalistic, misleading headline on an otherwise mundane article or ad published in The Post or elsewhere from April 13 to April 24. H
1222 Foaling around "Breed" any two of the provided racehorses nominated for this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont; and name the foal to reflect both of them. H
1221 Who's kidding whom? Take two people from history, past or present, and tell what their child would be like H
1212 The Tile Invitational IV  Give us a five-, six- or seven-letter word (or two words) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1174 Colt following -- It's time for the grandfoals "Breed" any two of the 57 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H H
1130 Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it. P
1122 Colt Following: 'Grandfoals' "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect the parents' names. H H
1118 Breed 'em and weep Breed any two of the provided 100 racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown events and name the foal the reflect both names. W
1097 Futz your sign Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information". H
1096 Picture this Write a humorous caption for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoon. H
1091 Good idea! or not. Come up with a good idea and, through a small change in wording, a bad idea. H
1079 Little piddle riddle Ask a question and answer it with a rhyme. H
1072 The Tile Invitational Come up with a 5-, 6-, or 7-letter term by scrambling any of the given seven-letter ScrabbleGram sets, and define it. H
1068 An iffy proposition Suggest some humorous action that you would take if you were in someone's position, more or less in the form "If I were _____ my first act would be _____." T
1067 A(t)tribute to your wit Alter a well-known quote slightly and attribute it to someone else. H
1064 HistoRebuffs Alter some moment in history and tell us -- in no more than about 50 words -- the likely outcome. H H
1048 Ask Backwards You supply the questions to as many of the provided answers as you like. 3
1047 Bank shots Quote a headline appearing in The Washington Post, washingtonpost.com or another publication, print or online, dated Nov. 14 to Nov. 25, and supply a humorous "bank" headline that either misinterprets it or comments wryly on it. H
1044 Play it safe Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace or elsewhere. M
1038 It's like this, see Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels. H
1032 Hid stuff Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer. H
1027 Built for two Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc. H
1021 'Gram theft Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it. H
1016 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents. 2
1014 Join now Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result. M
1012 The news at 5 Write a limerick about a recent news event. H
1009 What's in a name? Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name. M
1006 It's a ... a ... Create a new superhero (or due) and describe the superpower, or not-very-superpower. T
1004 Dead letters Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012. T
1001 Make us ROFL Give us a funny, original acronym. H
999 Drectrospective Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948. H H
992 Mittsterpiece Theatre Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen. M
988 A faster break Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting. T
987 Bank shots Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle. H
986 Hear here! Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word. H
980 Def jam Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms. H
977 Lost in Translation 2.0 Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages. H
976 Join now! Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it. H H
975 Gone mything Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided. H
971 Double booking Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book. H
965 Foaling around Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal. H
964 The Grossery Bag? Suggest a design and/or slogan to go on the side of the ardently desired Style Invitational Loser Bag. M
961 The end of our rhops Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters. H
957 Fearful Symmetry Write a clever passage who successive words are on letter longer until the middle of the passage, and then become one letter shorter. T
955 Twits' twist Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it. H
954 Bring on the 'fight' jokes Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.” M
953 Clue us in Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post. H
951 Say that again Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it. H H
950 Of all the nerve! Give us a humorous example of hypothetical chutzpah. H
941 They don't say! Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said. H
938 Free and Lear Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines. T
925 A remeaning task Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O. H H
917 Wryku Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first lien, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks. 2
908 Recast away Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role. H
904 We move on back Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word. 2
882 Limerixicon VII Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters dr-. M
880 Our greatest hit Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word. H
870 Let's play Nopardy Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question. H
868 Count the ways Give us some musings of a technical wonk. H
867 Back in the saddle Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal. H
866 Natalie Portmanteau Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase. H
858 Same OED Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below. H
856 Titled Puerility Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never by published. H
854 What's not to liken? Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories. M
783 The Shill Game Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company. H H
782 That's the Ticket! Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States. H T
780 Location, Location, Location Say how you know you're in a particular place. T
775 Ad-dition Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word. H
771 Groaner's Manuals Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization. H
769 Splice Work If You Can Get It Combine two words -- overlapping by at least two letters -- into what's know by polysyllabic types as a portmanteau word, and by the rest of us as mash word, and define it. T
766 Think to Shudder Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above. T
763 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. H
762 Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term. M
760 Whacky Buildup Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style. 4 H
749 Opus 266, No. 3 Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition. H H H H M
733 Just Drop It, Okay? Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it. H
712 Another Time Around the Track Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in the results of Week 708, and name THEIR foal. H H H H
689 Busted Play Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket. H
676 Tour de Fours III Coin and define a word containing -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters L, E, A and F. M
671 Join Now! Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the July 16 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound. H H M
669 Huddled Messes Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal). M
665 Your One-in-a-Million Coin the millionth words in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion. H H
664 A Thousand Times?! No! Come up with a new signature line for Russell Beland's -- or anyone else's -- e-mails. H H
660 Foaling Down: The Next Generation Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal. 4 H
656 It's Post Time Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined. H H
655 Laughing Inside Take any article appearing in The Washington Post or online on washingtonpost.com from today through April 3 -- the more serious and/or mundane its headline, the better -- and write a funny poem or other passage using only words that appear in that article. H H
653 It's the Eponymy, Stupid Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence M
652 Ask Backward You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions. H
651 Show Us Some Character Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it. H
647 Paste Imperfect Change a headline or sentence that appears in the Post or on washingtonpost.com through Feb. 6 either by deleting up to 40 consecutive characters from it or by adding 40 consecutive characters from the same article or ad. 2
642 It's Open Season Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S. H
625 Haven't Seen It Make up a new plot for an existing movie title. H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]