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Chantilly.

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Copyright The Washington Post Company May 15, 2005

"There's Something About Mary Poppins": The amazing secret of how she gets her power to fly.

"American Beauty and the Beast": Despite his protestations that "they last way

longer," a man's Valentine's gift of nylon roses fails to warm his girlfriend's heart.

"The Wild Wild West Side Story": It's the posse against the lawless, and they both have some wicked ballet moves.

So many movies out there, so little time. Think how many more you'd be able to see if you could view two of them simultaneously - - or better yet, "mashed" together a la the music "mash-ups" popular at dance clubs. This week's contest: Find two well-known movies -- oh, what the hey, you can use plays and TV shows, too - - whose titles have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid. The descriptions can play off either their plots or just the words in the titles, as in the examples above.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. But what you really want to try for is first runner-up, because that person will get something even better than the Little Naked Bookend With a Bag on the Head: the custom-made, one-of-a-kind leaded-glass Style Invitational Magnet box pictured here, lovingly crafted and donated by erstwhile Loser Peyton Coyner of Afton, Va. Magnets not included because we're just really petty.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets, also pictured here. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or, if you really have to, by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, May 23. Put the week number in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published June 12. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's contest was suggested by Peter Metrinko of Chantilly.

Report from Week 606, in which we asked for poems based on articles from that week's Washington Post: The week's big news was the selection of the new pope and its aftermath (not to mention its beforemath), but the Losers found time to weigh in on dozens of other matters as well, proving that some of them occasionally read another page of the newspaper besides this one.

{diam}Second runner-up:

'Some Hopeful,

Others Disappointed by Pope'

The gays who would marry, to whom we say nope.

The gals who now carry, for priesthood, a hope.

The geezers we harry to live and to cope

But who'd rather not tarry, and ask for the rope.

These souls should be chary of Benny the Pope.

(Chris Doyle, Raleigh)

{diam}First runner-up, winner of the "Time Is Money" analog- clock cuff links:

'Woman Jailed in Wendy's Chili Case; Questions Raised About Finger Story'

What a perfect news concoction:

Grand Guignol and farce! Any

Reader loves a story mixing

Leopards, limbs and larceny.

Things look bad for Ms. Ayala,

But diners' doubts still linger:

Everybody's still not sure

Who gave whom the finger.

(David Smith, Santa Cruz, Calif.)

{diam}And the winner of the Inker:

'Casting Off Cookies'

When we've got a social problem that'd cause our country shame,

What's as good as a solution is a scapegoat we can blame.

Now our kids are couch potatoes and they don't play out of doors,

So we're haulin' Cookie Monster up for scarfin' down s'mores.

First we've cut his brownie binges; next we'll buff up his physique;

Soon he'll be extollin' exercise while noshin' on a leek,

Then a final change to really make the transformation whole:

We'll give 'im some new name like "Biff, the Tofu-Eatin' Troll."

Aye, it's 'ello beets and broccoli, and goodbye Keebler Elves,

For our chubby little children need protectin' from themselves.

We won't take away their GameBoys or deny 'em their cartoons,

[Table]
So we're haulin' Cookie Monster up for eatin' macaroons.
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

{diam}Honorable Mentions:

'Calif. Gov. : U.S. Should

"Close Borders" '

Arnold, when lacking good scripts,

Lately suffers from somewhat loose lips,

Saying feds are "too lax,"

And "closed borders" he backs.

(He shoots better from guns, not from hips.)

(Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)

'Crowd Cheers White Smoke at

St. Peter's,' which told of the confusion over what color smoke was coming from the cardinals' conclave:

Oh, look, there's some puffin'!

It's black, don't mean nuffin'.

A wisp then of hope,

But the same -- still no pope.

The third plume is gray

And so no one can say

If the conclave has spoken.

Gee, what are they smokin'?

(Chris Doyle)

White smoke? White smoke? White smoke? Nope.

Black smoke. Black smoke. Black smoke. Pope!

(John Eggerton, Springfield)

'Benedictine Warfare,' about incorrect predictions on the next pope:

On hearing his sermon,

This Rev did determine

The next pope would never be Ratzinger.

Turns out he misstated --

He should have awaited

The aria sung by the fat singer.

(Dan Seidman, Watertown, Mass.)

'Fla. Man Secured

BenedictXVI.com Weeks Ago'

A businessman of some aplomb

Registered BenedictXVI.com

Tell me, how much time in Hell

For co-opting the papal URL?

(Pam Sweeney, Germantown)

'Bush Social Security Plan Proves Tough Sell Among Working Poor'

Lis'n up, here, Mr. Dub,

Don' mess wid mah retarment,

Or else a boot-from-butt puller

Will be yo' nex' requarment.

(Fred S. Souk, Reston)

'GOP Senator Wavers on Bolton'

Yes Vote Less Likely, Chafee Signals; White House Defends U.N. Nominee

Lincoln Chafee may defect;

White House rage is molten;

From the ambassador-elect

Others may be boltin'.

White House spokesmen never cease

Their bold, defensive mania.

Condoleezza says her piece

From distant Lithuania.

Chafee, Hagel, Voinovich,

Stoppin' now, and thinkin';

Could it be? Some sanity?

The party, still, of Lincoln?

For Bolton's bid, it's not too late

To hear of things that taint it.

The Senate's right to full debate

Is truly sacred -- ain't it?

(David Smith)

And Last:

Whan that Aprill, Monthe of Poetrie,

Wolde have us all aspyring Chaucers be,

Whenas a tale related in the Newse

Reveel such witt, as to inclyne the Muse

To drop a merrie verse into thy lappe,

Then send it heere, and winneth ye some crappe.

-- The Style Invitational, Week 606 (Brendan Beary)

More Honorable Mentions appear on washingtonpost.com.


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