Week 524 : Around Things Moving

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Copyright The Washington Post Company Sep 21, 2003

Frankenstein Young -- A rock documentary on Neil's hideously deformed older brother.

Man Rain: A series of vignettes that take place at urinals.

Wanda Called a Fish -- A very boring sequel to "The Horse Whisperer."

This Week's Contest was suggested by Don Oldenburg, who sits near The Czar and,

appropriately, is a recognized expert on the best places to take dogs to pee. Don's challenge: Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about, as in the examples above. You must use all the words in the original title, and may not add or alter any words. (You may add or change punctuation.) First-prize winner gets something truly special donated to The Style Invitational by Kevin Mellema of Falls Church. This one-of-a-kind object may represent the most work, for the smallest return, of any product we've ever given away. It is a diorama of a plastic fawn on plastic grass that has been inserted into a sizable section of a real tree trunk. It is priceless.

First Runner-Up wins the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser pen. Other runners-up win the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Send your entries via fax to 202-334- 4312 or by e-mail to U.S. mail entries are no longer accepted. Deadline is Monday, Sept. 29. All entries must include the week number of the contest and your name, postal address and telephone number. E-mail entries must include the week number in the subject field. Contests will be judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published in four weeks. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's contest is by Russell Beland of Springfield.

Report from Week 520, in which you were asked to identify which celebs ordered these objects, and why.

{diam}Second Runner-Up (Cartoon B): After many failures, Mr. Whipple ordered this bath tissue and asked people to "please don't squeeze the Charmin or I'll have to scatter your brains all over the floor like I did to the guy who squeezed this."

(Art Grinath, Takoma Park; Malcolm Fleschner, San Mateo, Calif.)

{diam}First Runner-Up (Cartoon F): Zorro's friends knew he had fallen on hard times but were still dismayed when he ordered this, and they discovered he was now doing teen slasher movies. (Clyde Behney, Arlington)

{diam}And the winner of the Hubert Humphrey-shaped bottle (Cartoon E): John Ashcroft ordered this statue of David, but wound up putting a lampshade over it.

(Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

{diam}Honorable mentions:

Cartoon A:

Emergency "Nose in a Box" ordered by Michael Jackson.

(Francene Machetto, Arlington)

A dummy, resembling someone sleeping under bedcovers, ordered by Bill Clinton.

(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

This specially designed lap blanket was ordered by Pee-wee Herman. (Roger and Pam Dalrymple,

Gettysburg, Pa.)

It's a pulse, in an expedited order from Gray Davis.

(Robin D. Grove, Pasadena, Md.)

Cartoon B:

Hampered by budget cuts, D.C. School Superintendent Paul Vance had to resort to this cheaper, dumbed-down version of

"Mutiny on the Bounty"

for the new school year.

(Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

Cartoon C:

After putting on a few pounds, Marilyn Chambers needs a customized green door

to go behind.

(Russell Beland, Springfield;

Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Cartoon D:

Ordered by Gypsy Rose Lee, who needs an adhesive to quickly apply both pasties.

(Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Ordered by David Letterman. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington; Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Bill bought this special Preparation H applicator in 1998 after Hillary tore him a new one.

(Tom Madison, Alexandria)

Cartoon E:

A custom-made lamp for Gordon

Lightfoot. (Russell Beland, Springfield;

Robin D. Grove, Pasadena, Md.)

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig ordered this as evidence after Ted Williams memorabilia started illegally showing up on eBay.

(Milo Sauer, Fairfax)

Cartoon F:

Ordered by Wes Craven for his next film, "Nightmare on Sesame Street" (brought to you by the letter S and the color red). (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Sal Dali's tree needs a trim.

(Andrew Elby, Arlington)

Sammy Sosa swears that this bat, while not strictly regulation, is just for use during exhibitions.

(Russell Beland, Springfield)

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