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Week 473 (CXL) : The Offensive Line


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Copyright The Washington Post Company Sep 29, 2002

This Week's Contest was suggested by cartoonist Bob Staake as a homage to the many people who generally find something to be offended by in The Style Invitational. Find what's offensive in any of the above cartoons, and explain. First-prize winner gets six pamphlets, in Spanish, produced in 1972 by the socialist government of Chile, extolling the joys of socialism and communism. The pamphlets were produced shortly before the economy tanked, there was rioting in the streets and the president was overthrown and killed in a CIA-sponsored right-wing coup.

First runner-up wins the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up win the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Send your entries via fax to 202-334- 4312, or by e-mail to losers@washpost.com. U.S. mail entries are no longer accepted due to rabid, spit-flying fanaticism. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 7. All entries must include the week number of the contest and your name, postal address and telephone number. E-mail entries must include the week number in the subject field. Contests will be judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post.

Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published in four weeks. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's contest is by Thos. Witte of Gaithersburg.

Report from Week CXXXVI, in which we asked you to suggest aliases that celebrities might use to hide their identities when checking into hotels. Many, many people offered "Scott Free" for O.J. Simpson, or some version of "Mary Anne Oldrichman" for Anna Nicole Smith.

{diam}Fourth Runner-Up -- Jack Kevorkian: Angel Odett

(Tom Klippstein, Scottsville, Va.)

{diam}Third Runner-up -- Pamela Anderson & Kid Rock:

Mr. and Mrs. Trey La Park (Judith Cottrill, New York)

{diam}Second Runner-Up -- Kathleen Kennedy Townsend: Kathleen Townsend (Brooks E. Bowers, Damascus)

{diam}First Runner-Up -- Barbara Walters: Faye Swift

(Steve Fahey, Kensington)

{diam}And the winner of the Elvis sunglasses with dangling sideburns:

Bill Clinton: Mr. John Smith and daughter (Russell Beland, Springfield)

{diam}Honorable Mentions:

Anna Kournikova: Anita Wynn (Aaron Durst, Upper Marlboro)

Monica Lewinsky: Honor Nease (Michael Clem, McLean)

Barbra Streisand: Mrs. James Brolin (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Mike Tyson: Will F. Uppe

(Brooks E. Bowers, Damascus)

Michael Jackson: Ivan Toby White (Chris Doyle, Burke)

Winona Ryder: Heidi Silver (Christy Cornelius, Chantilly)

Winona Ryder: Robin Saks

(Milo Sauer, Fairfax)

George W. Bush: Ariel Bombardment

(Joseph Romm, Washington)

Bill Clinton: Seamus All

(John Held, Fairfax)

Marion Barry: Joe Blow

(Kyle Bonney, Fairfax)

The Rev. W.A. Spooner: Don Joe (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Martha Stewart: Selma Stockoff (Hamdi Akar, Broad Run)

Emperor Nero: Christian Herter (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Gary Condit: Gil T. Walker

(Frank Mullen, Aledo, Tex.)

Katherine Harris: Eileen Wright (Dan Steinberg, Falls Church)

Ari Fleischer: Pat Anser

(John Held, Fairfax)

Jimmy Hoffa: Pete Moss

(Russell Beland, Springfield)

Michael Jackson: Les Black (Jenn Sarajian and Jerome Alfred, Fairfax)

Lorena Bobbitt: Gladys Severt (Hamdi Akar, Broad Run)

Jack Kevorkian: Hugo Gently

(Dan Steinberg, Falls Church)

Jesus Christ: Jesus H. Christ

(Gary Patishnock, Laurel)

Adam Clymer: Major LeGasseau (Hamdi Akar, Broad Run)

Dan Quayle: Anday Aylequay (Steve Fahey, Kensington)


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