Week 465 (CXXXII) : Hyphen the Terrible

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Copyright The Washington Post Company Aug 4, 2002

Opti-ate: Devoured with the eyes; leered at.

Delic-age: For women, between 50 and 65. Word has no known meaning for men.

Delic-quette: Really, really delicate.

Unauthor-age: Plagiarism.

This Week's Contest: Take the first half of any word or word combination in today's Post that is broken by a hyphen at the end of a line, and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word from the same story, and define the new word that is formed. (Persons outside The Washington Post circulation area can use Monday's USA Today.) The examples above were taken from today's Miss Manners column. Make sure you specify the story from which your new word came. First-prize winner gets Baby Born Miniworld, one of the most revolting new toys available. It is a self-contained little pink world featuring a glum-looking bald infant who is, paradoxically, celebrating her second birthday alone with a little pink cake in a little pink room filled with little pink choking hazards. It is worth $15.

First runner-up wins the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up win the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Send your entries via fax to 202-334- 4312 or by e-mail to U.S. mail entries are no longer accepted due to rabid, spit-flying fanaticism. Deadline is Monday, Aug. 12. All entries must include the week number of the contest and your name, postal address and telephone number. E-mail entries must include the week number in the subject field. Contests will be judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post.

Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published in four weeks. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's contest is by Fil Feit of Annandale.

Report from Week CXXVIII, in which we asked you to take any comic from that week's papers and rewrite the last piece of dialogue to make it funnier. But first, an important announcement: Hey, kids! You know how you like to read the funnies? Well, these may LOOK like the funnies but they aren't! You won't want to read them because they aren't funny. And if you ask Mom 'n' Dad to explain them, they'll get all twitchy and shoo you off to write a letter to your aunt or something instead. So it's best not to even look at them.

{diam}Fourth Runner-Up:

(Mike Hammer, Arlington; Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

{diam}Third Runner-Up:

(Bird Waring, New York; Kevin W. O'Connor, Burtonsville)

{diam}Second Runner-up:

(Andy Jones, Columbus, Ohio; William Zamojcin, Vernon, Conn.)

{diam}First Runner-Up:

(Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

{diam}And the winner of the "Dilbert" necktie:

(Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

{diam}Honorable Mentions:

(Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

(Sue Lin Chong, Washington)

(Ashby Bryson, Rockville)

(Mike Hammer, Arlington)

(Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

(Roy Ashley, Washington)

(Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

(Justin Kennedy, Alexandria)

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