Week 384 (LI) : What's Your Story

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Copyright The Washington Post Company Jan 14, 2001

This week's contest: Take at least four of these cartoons, arrange them in any

sequence you wish, and make up a funny story that they would illustrate. Make sure you indicate which ones you use, and in what sequence you are using them. First-prize

winner gets a Michael Dukakis Halloween mask, a value of $25.

First runner-up wins the tacky but estimable Style

Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up win the

coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. The Uncle's Pick wins the shockingly ugly "The Uncle Loves Me" T-shirt. Send your entries via fax to 202-334-4312, or by e-mail to, or by U.S. mail to The Style Invitational, Week LI, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 22. All entries must include the week number of the contest and your name, postal address and a daytime or evening telephone number. E-mail entries must include the week number in the subject field. Contests will be judged on the basis of humor and originality. All

entries become the property of The Washington Post. Editors reserve the right to edit entries for taste or content. Results will be published in four weeks. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes.

in which we asked you to take something and improve upon its name.

{diam}Third Runner-Up:

Old name: Doughnut hole. New name: Breakfast chad.

(Ned Bent, Oak Hill)

{diam}Second Runner-Up:

Old name: Colonoscopy. New name: Goose 'n' gander.

(Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)

{diam}First Runner-Up:

Old name: The Wizards. New name: Err Jordan.

(Chris Doyle, Burke)

{diam}And the winner of the World's Only One-Size-Fits-All Shoe:

Old name: (sic). New name: (W).

(Lynne Filderman, Potomac Falls)

{diam}Honorable Mentions:

Old name: Tryst. New name: Randyvous.

(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Old name: Pessimist.

New name: Naytheist.

(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Old name: San Jose.

New name: .comelot.

(Fred S. Souk, Reston)

Old name: Nader. New name: Nadir.

(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Old name: Mistake. New name: Hojeez.

(Chris Shreves, Oak Hall)

Old name: Hillary Clinton.

New name: Hillary Rodham.

(Joseph Romm, Washington)

Old name: Palindrome.

New name: Wordrow.

(Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Old name: The Electoral College.

New name: The Antiquated Election-Stealing Farce.

(Al Gore, Washi Nashville; Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Old name: Israel. New name: Palestine.

(Yasser Arafat, Jerusalem; Philip Avigan, Silver Spring)

Old name: Metro escalator.

New name: Staircase.

(Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Old name: Moderate. New name: Liberal.

(Mike Genz, Potomac)

Old name: "The Return of the Native." New name: "Native II: The Return."

(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Old name: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. New name: I'm Like No Way It's Not Butter. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Old name: Memo. New name: Paper Trail.

(Robin D. Grove, Pasadena, Md.)

Old name: Halitosis. New name: Dreath.

(Jean Sorenson, Herndon)

Old name: Tinsel. New name: Foilage.

(Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Old name: Inauguration.

New name: Chadenfraud.

(John O'Byrne, Dublin)

Old name: Napster. New name: Nabster.

(Ervin Stembol, Alexandria)

Old name: Spork. New name: Foon.

(Brett Walton, Bridgewater, Va.)

Old name: Big Mouth Billy Bass.

New name: Idiot finder.

(Chris Shreves, Oak Hall)

Old name: Coach Class.

New name: Steerage.

(Mel Loftus, Holman, Wisc.)

Old name: Dubya.

New name: Asterisk.

(Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)

Old name: Ipecac.

New name: Actually, there is no better name. (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)

Old name: Drive-by shooting.

New name: Whizbang.

(Judith E. Cottrill, New York)

Old name: Wal-Mart.

New name: Mall-wart.

(Marco Cuniberti, Washington)

{diam}The Uncle's Pick:

Old name: Hanging Chads.

New name: Dingleballots.

(Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

The Uncle Explains: "Dingle" is a delightful combination of "dangle" and "hinge." Inventing new words can be fun.

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