|Full Text (998 words)|
|Copyright The Washington Post Company Aug 20,
Question: What Cajun delicacy is made with okra and elephant meat?
Answer: The Big Chill
Question: In a typical marriage, what follows The Big Bra Discovered in the Glove Compartment?
Answer: Tora! Tora! Tora!
Question: How do football fans cheer for the Fighting Yarmulkes of the Talmudic University of Tokyo?
This Week's Contest was proposed by
Stephen Dudzik of Silver Spring. Stephen
suggests that you take the title of any movie and make it the answer to a riddle. First-prize winner receives an official promotional package from the new movie "Cecil B. Demented," a grab bag of goodies sent to newspapers nationwide in the hopes of garnering good publicity. The goodies include ear plugs, analgesics, a megaphone, a water pistol, a bandanna and the single item that best summarizes this movie: a stink bomb.
First runner-up wins the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up win the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-Shirt. The Uncle's Pick wins the yet-to-be-designed but soon-to-be- coveted "The Uncle Loves Me" T-shirt. Send your entries via fax to 202-334-4312, or by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org, or by U.S. mail to The Style Invitational, Week XXX, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071. Deadline is Monday, Aug. 28. All entries must include the week number of the contest and your name, postal address and a daytime or evening telephone number. E-mail entries must include the week number in the message field. Contests will be judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Editors reserve the right to edit entries for taste or content. Results will be published in four weeks. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes.
REPORT FROM WEEK XXVI, in which you were asked to come up with a new political party, and its main tenet. As always with political topics, there was a great deal of unfunny tooth-gnashing and
ax-grinding. (e.g., Repugnicans: Same party, just more honest about what they're up to. Gliberals: Just like the liberals, but at least they seem to be making sense.)
* Fourth Runner-Up: The Popeilist Party. Motto: A fish in every pocket. But wait. There's more . . . (Thomas L. Schwarz, Burke; Chris Doyle, Rockville)
* Third Runner-Up: The Dotcommunists. Advocate universal access to the Internet through total government control. (Richard Howard, Germantown; Joseph Romm, Washington)
* Second Runner-Up: The Social List Party. A party for only the best sort of people. Voting by invitation only. (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.;
Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.)
* First Runner-Up: The Manute Bolsheviks. Urge an end to height discrimination. (Van Scott, Pollok, Tex.)
* And the winner of the bottle of popcorn:
The Shining Pate. A party of the lunatic fringe, advocating whatever means necessary, including violence, to restore dignity to bald men. Avowed enemies of the Wig party. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)
* Honorable Mentions:
The Carpe Per Diem Party: Advocates tax breaks for businessmen. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
The Garth-Wayne Party: Seeks schwing voters. (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)
The Ipse Dixiecrats: If we ain't fer it, it mus' be un-American. (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)
The Pool Party: Mostly, members just bet on who is going to win. (Russel
The Demi-crats: Everything in moderation. (Mary Ann Henningsen, Hayward, Calif.)
The Tea Party: Political arm of NORML. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
The Know Nothing Party: A Quayle-Stockdale ticket. (Russell Beland, Annandale)
Gumbycrats: A Green party, but one that is flexible. (Russell Hess, Washington)
The Seinfeld Party: It has no platform. (James Pierce, Charlottesville)
The Anti-Socialist Party: Workers of the world, unite. Just not real close to me. All party events, including conventions, are held by mail. (Perry D.
Alter, Fairfax Station; Cecilia Le, Vienna)
The Libertine Party: Wants Clinton to run for a third term. (Russell Beland, Annandale)
The Tupperware Party: This secret
society keeps a tight lid on its fundraising. (Russell Beland, Annandale)
The Donner Party: At least their fundraising events don't involve rubber chicken. (Russell and Maureen Beland, Annandale; Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)
The Bullsheviks: Promise the
oppressed masses anything. (David Genser, Arlington)
The United Coalition of Anarchists: Features a highly conflicted
membership. (Russell Beland,
Fashists: Rule by runway models.
Advocates many national days of
fasting. (David Genser, Arlington)
The Talibland: Wishy-washy religious fundamentalists. (David Genser,
Stallinists: Advocate more accommodations for ladies in public facilities. (David Genser, Arlington)
Quaylites: Give Connecticut back to Mexico. (David Genser, Arlington)
Symbionese Liberation Amway:
Kidnap wealthy people's children and force them into a cruel life of home marketing. (David Genser, Arlington)
The Bachelor Party: Advocates
increasing the marriage penalty tax. (Ray Rtajczak, Arbutus, Md.)
The Humanitaryans: Promotes the welfare of only the genetically
superior elements of society. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
The Belabor Party: It holds daily press conferences. (Joseph Romm,
The Pajama Party: Aims to raise
"casual Fridays" to the next level. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)
The Dermocrats: The party for
candidates with completely unblemished records. (Sandra Hull,
Amerigo Firsters: We will abolish
Columbus Day. (Chris Doyle, Rockville)
The Estates' Rights Party: Death to the death tax. (Chris Doyle, Rockville)
The Baldfaced Liars Party: Official motto: We are not baldfaced liars. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)
The Fed-up-eralists: They're mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)
The Apocalyptic Vengeance Party of Cruel Death Raining Down Upon the World With Unimaginable Terror: Not really a political party, just a weenie guy named Brad and a few of his loser friends. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)
The Memocratic Party: Copies of all legislation will be forwarded to all citizens, who must initial them and send them back. (Mike Elliot, Oberlin, Ohio)
The America Furst Party: Dedicated to home schooling. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)
* The Uncle's Pick:
The Green Giant Party: Its motto is Peas on Earth, Good Will to Men.
(Joseph Romm, Washington)
The Uncle Explains: An original pun, and an excellent sentiment.
Next Week: No Competition
|More Like This - Find similar documents|
|^ Back to Top||« Back to Results||< Previous Document 277 of 657 Next >||Publisher Information|
|Mark Document||Abstract , Full Text|
|Copyright © 2005 ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights reserved. Terms and Conditions|
|Library of Congress|