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The Style Invitational

Sunday, September 27, 1998


thinker Studio 44 - A famous 1970s discotheque where everyone got high on cough syrup. (David Genser, Arlington)

The dance of the 8 veils - The gals in the harem need to cut down on the baklava. (David Genser, Arlington)

Playing the Baker's Dozens - Jewish version of "playing the dozens." Instead of insulting your opponent's mother, you wish her bad luck. "May yo mama's chicken soup curdle up like a shikse at a bris." (David Genser, Arlington)

The Czar came up with the idea of This Week's Contest on Monday after discovering a stack of unread entries to the contest whose results were published last Sunday. In that contest, you had to alter by one the number contained in some expression, and revise its meaning; the best of these unread entries are printed above. Now, the Czar believes that if life gives you lemons, you should squirt them into the eyes of someone you really don't like very much, like Satan or that kid who plays Urkel. So he decided to run the Style Invitational's second Second Time Around contest, in which you are invited to submit entries to any previous contest, ideas you may have thought of after the contest deadline had passed. Don't submit things you previously submitted; we will cross-reference all new entries with our international database of rejected entries, and disqualify any persons plagiarizing themselves. First-prize winner receives a 40-year-old gilded commemorative plate featuring likenesses of America's First Family. For some reason, Ike appears to be wearing more lipstick than Mamie.

First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 288, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071; fax them to 202-334-4312; or submit them via Internet to this address: Internet users: Please indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Also, please do not append "attachments," which tend not to be read. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Oct. 5. Important: Please include your postal address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Today's Ear No One Reads was written by Richard Leiby of Silver Spring. Employees of The Washington Post and members of their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 285,
in which you were invited to come up with Clintoons, cartoons crafted from any of 14 caricatures we supplied.


Copyright 1998 The Washington Post Company

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