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The Style Invitational
WEEK 289: PLAY IT AGAIN, SHAM
Sunday, September 27, 1998
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Studio 44 - A famous 1970s discotheque where everyone got high on cough syrup. (David Genser, Arlington)
The dance of the 8 veils - The gals in the harem need to cut down on the baklava. (David Genser, Arlington)
Playing the Baker's Dozens - Jewish version of "playing the dozens."
Instead of insulting your opponent's mother, you wish her bad luck. "May
yo mama's chicken soup curdle up like a shikse at a bris." (David
Genser, Arlington)
The Czar came up with the idea of This Week's Contest on Monday after
discovering a stack of unread entries to the contest whose results were
published last Sunday. In that contest, you had to alter by one the
number contained in some expression, and revise its meaning; the best of
these unread entries are printed above. Now, the Czar believes that if
life gives you lemons, you should squirt them into the eyes of someone
you really don't like very much, like Satan or that kid who plays Urkel.
So he decided to run the Style Invitational's second Second Time Around
contest, in which you are invited to submit entries to any previous
contest, ideas you may have thought of after the contest deadline had
passed. Don't submit things you previously submitted; we will
cross-reference all new entries with our international database of
rejected entries, and disqualify any persons plagiarizing themselves.
First-prize winner receives a 40-year-old gilded commemorative plate
featuring likenesses of America's First Family. For some reason, Ike
appears to be wearing more lipstick than Mamie.
First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style
Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style
Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly
sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected
on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style
Invitational, Week 288, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW,
Washington, D.C. 20071; fax them to 202-334-4312; or submit them via
Internet to this address: losers@washpost.com. Internet users: Please
indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Also, please do not
append "attachments," which tend not to be read. Entries must be
received on or before Monday, Oct. 5. Important: Please include your
postal address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks
from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor
or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Today's Ear No One Reads was
written by Richard Leiby of Silver Spring. Employees of The Washington
Post and members of their immediate families are not eligible for
prizes.
Report from Week 285,
in which you were invited to come up with Clintoons, cartoons crafted from any of 14 caricatures we supplied.
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