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Week 216 : What Kind of Foal Am I


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Copyright The Washington Post Company May 4, 1997

Breed Spanish Fighter with War Broth and name the foal Franco-American.

Breed In Excessive Bull with Richter Scale and name the foal Rush Falls Down.

Breed Tommy Capote with Truman C and name the foal Read My Lisp.

Breed Emailit with Yeti and name the foal Bigfoot@aol.com.

This Week's Contest is our third annual equine paradox. At the bottom of the page are the names of the 400-plus horses who have qualified for this year's Triple Crown races. Pair up any two and name their foal. Stick by the rules: a maximum of 18 characters, including spaces, per name. You may ignore the horses' genders, if you happen to know them. First-prize winner gets Trump: The Game, a vintage copy of the 1980s board game (Motto -- "It's Not Whether You Win or Lose, but Whether You Win") based upon the spectacularly acquisitive career of Donald Trump before he crashed and burned and was otherwise exposed as a bumbling loser.

Runners-up, as always, receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser's T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to The Style Invitational, Week 216, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to 202-334-4312 or submit them via Internet to this address: losers@access.digex.net. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before Monday, May 12. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. The Faerie of the Fine Print & the Ear No One Reads wishes to thank David Genser of Vienna for today's Ear No One Reads. Employees of the Washington Post, and members of their immediate families, are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 213,

in which we asked you to differentiate acts that are illegal from those that are merely unethical. One example we gave was that it was unethical to fund-raise from the White House, but that it would be illegal to do it while pretending to be the pope. We wanted you to limit your answers to acts of political and/or fund-raising high jinks, but were apparently insufficiently precise on the subject. Therefore, we accepted a broader range of entries. Any readers who followed the rules and feel cheated are urged to lodge their protest by going back in time and becoming contestants on "Queen for a Day," disclosing their pain, and possibly winning an Amana frost-free refrigerator.

Third Runner-Up --

Unethical: Using the influence of your government position to find a job for Web Hubbell.

Illegal: Creating the position of "Minister of Embezzlement" for him. (Dave R. Cervantes, Reston)

Second Runner-Up --

Illegal: Having dead guys vote.

Unethical: Using dead guys as HOV-lane passengers. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

First Runner-Up -- It may be okay to accept a deferred loan from Bob Dole to pay your fine, and it may be unethical to take the money from your campaign fund to pay your fine, but it is definitely illegal to raise the money by poaching giraffes. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

And the winner of the gigantic rotisserie:

Unethical: Spitting in an umpire's face and blaming it on the death of his child.

Illegal: Spitting on the sidewalk. (Bill Moulden, Frederick)

Honorable Mentions:

Unethical: Soliciting campaign donations from the White House.

Illegal: Soliciting from the White House.

(Dave Ferry, Leesburg; Noah Meyerson, Cambridge, Mass.)

Unethical: Using official helicopters to go golfing.

Illegal: Using Navy Seals to retrieve lost balls. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Unethical: Postal workers wasting time on the job.

Illegal: Postal workers wasting people on the job. (Lee Mayer and Paul Laporte, Washington)

Unethical: Borrowing money to pay a fine.

Illegal: "Borrowing" money to "pay" a fine.

(Joel Knanishu, Hyattsville)

Unethical: Diverting money to your campaign from the sale of Girl Scout cookies.

Illegal: Diverting money to your campaign from the sale of Girl Scouts. (Jason Walther, Gaithersburg; David Salzman, Chevy Chase)

Unethical: A federal employee hires his mistress.

Illegal: A federal employee hires his wife. (Melissa Yorks and Joe Bangiolo, Washington)

Unethical: Charging kids to enter the White House Easter Egg roll.

Illegal: Assigning the kids numbers and setting up a betting booth. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

And Last:

Unethical: Plagiarism.

Illegal: Pretending to be the pope while doing so. (Michael Golden, Puyallup, Wash.)

Next Week: Ask Backwards IX

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