Week 116 : Write Pure Poetry


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Copyright The Washington Post Company Jun 4, 1995

This Week's Contest is a totally idiotic idea that we began to love the more we noodled with it. It was proposed by Michael Freedman-Schnapp of Reston, who wins a much hipper name. Michael, from now on you are "Nick Rudd, of Prague." Also, you get an antique Heathcliff the Cat lunchbox. Nick proposes that you write a complete sentence using only the letters contained on the top letter row of a typewriter: Q,W,E,R,T,Y,U,I,O,P. (Alternatively, you can use the letters of the first four lines of the standard eye chart:

E, F, P, T, O, Z, L, D. Use one list or the other for each entry, but not both combined.) First-prize winner gets a spectacular costume of a 9-foot-tall huge-breasted, hippo-hipped woman with billowing skirts recently worn by actress Fabienne Schlund in Le Neon Theatre's French-language performance of Rabelais's "Gargantua." It can only be worn while standing on a ladder. We bought it for $10, but it is worth at least twice that. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper stickers. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 116, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to 202-334-4312 or submit them via the Internet to this address: Internet users: Please indicate the appropriate week number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before Monday, June 12. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchase necessary. The Faerie of the Fine Print & The Ear No One Reads is still seeking entries for The Ear No One Reads, such as today's, written by Stephen Dudzik of Silver Spring. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 113,

in which we asked you to mate any two of 200 Triple Crown contenders and name the foal. A gigantic response: 18,000 entries from 1,550 people. Neither number, we are delighted to report, is a record. Mary Lee Fox Roe of Mount Kisco, N.Y., alone submitted 502 entries, which, we are truly saddened to report, is also not a record. You folks need to obtain lives.

+ Eighth Runner-Up: Quiet Deception x You're the One = Nixon's the One

(Russell Beland, Springfield)

+ Seventh Runner-Up: Copy Editor x Bungee Jumper = Danglin' Participle

(Mary W. Matthews, Germantown)

+ Sixth Runner-Up: Evanston x Fort Wayne = Sucky Travel Agent (Peter Johnson, Alexandria)

+ Fifth Runner-Up: De Niro x Wild Gump = Duh Niro (Kitty Thuermer, Washington)

+ Fourth Runner-Up: Mystical Canyon x Uptown Bear = Yogi Bear (Mary Lee Fox Roe,

Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

+ Third Runner-Up: Nostra x Picnicker = Nosepicker (Mike Thring, Leesburg)

+ Second Runner-Up: Easily Moved x King James = Royal Flush (Harold Mantle, Darnestown)

+ First Runner-Up: King James x Hare Raising = Bible Thumper (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

+ And the winner of the White House wooden easter egg:

Dazzling Falls x Gaily Gold = Louganis (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Honorable Mentions:

Native Tribe x Lawyer Referral = Sioux 'Em All (Paul Kondis, Alexandria; Dave Yanchulis, Washington)

French Deputy x Rich Man's Gold = Pamela Harriman (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

Law of the Sea x Nostra = Sleeps With Fishes (Ira P. Robbins, Bethesda)

Beepbeep Zip Bang x Dodge City = Drive-By Shooting (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Lonely Capote x Grecian God = Happy Capote (Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.)

Score Quick x Beepbeep Zip Bang = I'm Sooo Sorry (Buddy Baker, Silver Spring)

Satin Devil x Judgement Day = Damned Foal (C. Ramuglia, Lorton)

Copy Editor x Judgement Day = Judgment Day (David Buchholz, Silver Spring)

Ghostly Moves x Strawberry Wine = Casper Weinberger (Richard Rosen, Silver Spring; Phil Forjan, Burke)

Ali Baba x Shah Boom = Baba Boom! (Joyce Small, Herndon)

Jealous Crusader x Hare Raising = Crusader Rabbit (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

Once a Sailor x Quiet Deception = Don't Ask Don't Tell (Mark Ross, Alexandria)

Picnicker x Copy Editor = Nitpicker (Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.)

Nostra x Gold Miner = Booger (Agata Newlacil, Derwood)

Cliff's Hope x Valid Advantage = Cliff's Notes (Tara Strawderman, Ms. Rosenberg's 11th-grade English class, Stonewall Jackson High School, Mount Jackson, Va.)

A Wicked Brew x Definite Article = The Wicked Brew (Rahul Simha, Williamsburg)

Copy Editor x Private Rite = {A Sexual Act} (Melanie Zyck, Charlottesville)

A Wicked Brew x Easily Moved = Barium Enema (Michael Dunlap, Winchester, Va.)

Rush Dancer x Crimson = Right on Red (Mike Rayburn, Herndon)

Seattle Spell x Kant Stop Kris = Kant Spell a Lyck (Richard M. Biederman, Potomac; Thomas Bascom, Laurel)

Go Gary Go x Investor = Gary "U.S." Bonds (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

Dontmesswithtex x Letthebigcajundoit = Space Bar (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Tyson's Revenge x King Heir = Don King's Hair (Mark Ross, Alexandria)

Blizzard x Lonely Capote = Dairy Queen (Jacki and Geoff Drucker, Arlington)

Lonely Capote x Quiet Deception = Tru Lies (Greg Arnold, Herndon)

Tyson's Revenge x Wild Gump = Boxer Chocolates (David Harrison, Fredericksburg)

Uptown Bear x Western Echo = Bears Repeating (Mary Lee Fox Roe, Mount Kisco, N.Y.)

And Last:

Timeless Honor x Last Effort = And Last (Joseph Romm, Washington)

ILLUSTRATION,,Bob Staacke For Twp

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