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Copyright The Washington Post Company Feb 26, 1995

You will win the lottery, and then die. Your lucky numbers are 12, 23, 9, 38, 17 and 40.

This restaurant never serves cat meat. To our knowledge.

You must find the jade monkey to save the Pu Ping Dynasty.

Report from Week 99,

in which you were asked to find what was wrong with any

of three pictures.

+ Third Runner-Up: (Picture A) Although the tuba is stuffed

with a man's torso, the little notes indicate that the player is making musical sounds somehow. You people are absolutely disgusting.

(J. Calvin Smith, Laurel)

+ Second Runner-Up (Picture B) No pitchfork.

(Linda K. Malcolm, Silver Spring)

+ First Runner-Up (Picture B): I never really cared for Hillary's

personal style during the Arkansas years. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

+ And the winner of the copper outhouse music box:

(Picture B) After having posed 30 straight days for the great artist, the woman seemed serene and surprisingly free of infections. (George Wills, Blacksburg)

Picture A:

There is a pig flying. As the Style Invitational has yet to show a sign of good taste, pigs should not have flown yet.

(Arthur C. Adams, Laurel)

The newsboy cannot be selling The Washington Post, because the headline would be "Feds Register Concern Over Beverage Ramifications." (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Picture B:

It's a brilliant forgery, but to fool the experts it should be a bit larger. (Russ Beland, Springfield)

Fashion no-no: Failure to accessorize.

(Linda K. Malcolm, Silver Spring)

Leonardo da Vinci could not have painted a portrait of J. Edgar Hoover since da Vinci died a few hundred years before Hoover was even BORN. (Russ Beland and Jerry Pannullo, Springfield)

Insert credit line to avoid artist's lawsuit:

By Leonardo da Vinci for The Washington Post. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

Picture C:

The cabbie in the lower right-hand corner speaks fluent English (Kurt Beals, Staunton)

No one has any feet. Shoe City would have folded months ago. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

And Last:

(All pictures) They're damp, smeared and torn. You tell the delivery person to wrap my Sunday paper in one of those damn plastic bags or I cancel my subscription. (John Kammer, Herndon)

Next Week: The Joke's On You

ILLUSTRATION,,Bob Staake For Twp

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Document types: COLUMN
Language: English
Publication title: The Washington Post (pre-1997 Fulltext)

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