Week 25 : Caption Crunch

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Copyright The Washington Post Company Aug 22, 1993

This Week's Contest: Write a caption for any of these photos. First-prize winner receives a wristwatch featuring a hologram of an eyeball, a value of about $50. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 25, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Aug. 30. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 22, in which we asked you to come up with slogans for the 1996 presidential campaign. We restricted the contest to plausible candidates such as Richard Nixon and Chuck Smith of Woodbridge, specifically excluding only the Energizer Bunny.

"Reelect Hillary" was clever, but it didn't win because our budget does not permit us to award 104 T-shirts.

Fifth Runner-up: Joe McGinniss in '96. He's No Jack Kennedy. But He Knows What Jack Kennedy Is Thinking. (A.K. Merryman, Washington)

Fourth Runner-up: Heidi Fleiss. Finally, Madam President (Holly McMullen, Potomac)

Third Runner-up: Bill Clinton. Because He May Be Your Long-Lost Brother. (Bob Zane, Woodbridge)

Second Runner-up: Joe Biden. Ask Not What Your Country Can Do for You, Ask What You Can Do for Your Country. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

First Runner-Up: Dan Quayle. "A Chicken in Every Garage." (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

And the winner of the framed photo of President Clinton, personally autographed by Tony Kornheiser:

How Does PACKWOOD FOR PRESIDENT Grab You? (R. Sharp, Fredericksburg)

Honorable Mentions:

Marion Barry - I Didn't Exhale. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Helms for President - Don't Stop Thinking About Gomorrah. (William Saletan, Washington)

Jack Kevorkian - Solving the Population Crisis One Person at a Time. (Linda K. Malcolm, Silver Spring)

Hillary Clinton - I Am Not a Cook. (Michelle Stenger, Williamsburg)

Ted Kennedy - He'll Never Leave You High and Dry. (Jacki Drucker, Arlington)

Lamar Alexander - He'll Do for the Country What He Did for the Skools. (Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.)

Bob Dole - Vote for Me, You Pinheads. (Tom Gearty, Washington)

Bush in '96 - Sushi. Puke. Bad Idea. Won't Do It Again. Promise. (Michael Scott, Arlington)

Paul Simon - Like a Bridge Over Tepid Water (Douglas H. Ricker, Beltsville)

Lyndon LaRouche - In an Unstable World, We Need an Unstable Leader. (Tom Gearty, Washington)

Jerry Brown - A Free-Range Chicken in Every Pot. (Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.)

William F. Buckley Jr. - Plain Talk, Articulated in a Paradigm of Recondite Erudition, Eschewing the Patois of Obfuscatory Neologism. (Michael Scott, Arlington)

Cal Ripken Jr. in '96 - At Least He'll Show Up for Work Every Day. (Kurt Larrick, Burke)

Lick 'Em, Rosty. (William Saletan, Washington)

Please Vote for Miss Manners. Thank You. (Linda K. Malcolm, Silver Spring)

Tony Kornheiser - A Natural-Born U.S. Citizen Over 35 Who Has Lived in This Country for at Least 14 Years. (Karsten Brown, Front Royal)

And Last:

Annoy the Media. Elect the Energizer Bunny. (Steven King, Alexandria)

Next Week: Happy Endings


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