|Full Text (616 words)|
|Copyright The Washington Post Company May 30,
Woody Allen = A Lewd Loony
Marion Barry = My Brain-roar
The Washington Post = Wet Hogs in Hot Pants
Princess Di = Diss Prince
Albert Gore = Get Real, Bro'
The White House = Whee! Hot Tushie!
William Donald Schaefer = A Clownish Leader Fail Md.
What does it mean that Woody Allen's name is an anagram of "A Lewd Loony?" He had that name years before he became a famous groin- crazed, teen-diddling doodoohead. Could it be that names are secret encoded clues to the true nature of people? That a clever anagramist is not so much a creative genius as he is a "channeler"? Naah. He's just a wonk with a Scrabble set and a lot of time on his hands.
This week's contest: Come up with a funny anagram for the name of a famous person or institution. All letters in the name must be used, and no letters may be left over.
First-prize winner will receive a huge American flag, a star- spangled banner too big for tasteful display anywhere except on the side of a mountain or perhaps in a polo stadium (a value of approximately $90).
Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational Loser' T- shirts. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor, originality and relevance to the anagramed name. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 13, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312. Entries must be received on or before Monday, June 7. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.
Report from week 10
... in which we sought euphemisms, nice ways to say unpleasant things.
We received 450 entries, most of which were (bad) not meeting our current needs but we thank you for your interest in our publication blah blah blah.
- Fifth runner-up: Road Kill = Vehicularly Compressed Maladapted Life Form (Bradley Fisher, Rockville)
- Fourth runner-up: Meter Maid = Wiper Poet (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)
- Third runner-up: Plagiarism = Previously Owned Prose (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)
- Second runner-up: Cowardly = Challenge Challenged (Wendy C. Leyes, Chevy Chase)
- First runner-up: Cannibalism = Intra-species Dining (Harvey Kipper, Arlington)
- And the Winner of the Ugly Presidential Plate:
Vomiting = Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices (Erik Johnson, Prince Frederick, Md.)
- Alcoholic = Anti-sobriety Activist (Darren C. Mitchell, Mount Rainier)
- Vice president = Post-coronary Leader of the Free World (Phil Clutts, Silver Spring)
- Abortion = Near-life Experience (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)
- Rudeness = Tact Avoidance (Harvey Kipper, Arlington)
- Disgruntled Employee = Designated Corporate Retaliatory Officer (Darren C. Mitchell, Mount Ranier)
- Dead = Taking a Dirt Nap (Erik Johnson, Prince Frederick)
- Parking Boot = Aftermarket Hubcap (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)
- Assassination = Involuntary Term Limitation (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)
- Shoplifter = Cost-of-living Adjustment Specialist (Darren C. Mitchell, Mount Rainier)
- Stabbing = Social Surgery (Erik Johnson, Prince Frederick, Md.)
- Dead = Actuarially Mature (Jeannie Jasper Edwards, Herndon)
- Hemorrhoids = Solid Waste Deceleration Devices (Ian Marc Ories, Arlington)
- Homelessness = Mortgage-Free Living (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)
- Corpse = Permanently Static Post-Human Mass (Oliver Sommers, Warrenton)
- Navel Lint = NatureUs Worry Bead (Stu Segal, Vienna)
- Yard Sale Rejects = Style Invitational Prizes (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)
And even more last:
- Fifth Runner-Up, Fourth Runner-Up, Third Runner-Up, Second Runner-Up, First Runner-Up and Honorable Mention = Loser. (Richard Maltagliati, Burtonsville)
Next Week: You Give Us the Backs Off Our Shirts.
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