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Week 12 : HERE DOGGEREL . . .


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Copyright The Washington Post Company May 23, 1993

Doc Kevorkian, AKA Jack,

Had no need for a magazine rack.

He simply ignored

That his patients were bored

Since he figured they weren't coming back.

The husband of Hillary Rodham, he

Came out firmly in favor of sodomy.

A nation would wonder

About Clinton's blunder -

Did the president have a lobotomy?

A graceful and fair ballerina

From Bosnia-Herzegovina

Kept her spirits undamp

In a refugee camp,

A-twirl behind coiled concertina.

This week's contest: Write a limerick. That's the easy part. The hard part: It must contain one of the following names: "Hillary Rodham Clinton," "Jack Kevorkian," "George Stephanopoulos" or "Bosnia-Herzegovina." The names don't have to be part of the rhyme, and their constituent words can be separated.

First-prize winner will receive a selection of revolting novelty items, including but not limited to a twitching rubber rat caught in a leg-hold trap, a value of about $35. A special award will be given for the most pitiful attempt at a rhyme. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational Losers' T-shirts. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 12, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312. Entries must be received on or before Monday, May 31. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.

Report from Week 9, in which we asked you to come up with vanity license plates for famous people. But first, a quick mail call. A few of you have written in, asking what we do with your losing entries after the judging. What would you do with 500 lame Vanities? We had a bonfire. You're welcome.

The Winners:

Fifth Runner-Up: UP CHUCK - Princess Di (Bruce Powers, Alexandria. Also, "Hoops," Alexandria)

Fourth Runner-Up: CALL AAA - All Metro buses (Harold Kerr, Washington)

Third Runner-Up: R U MINE? - Dr. Cecil Jacobson, "The Sperminator" (Audrey Kovalak, Springfield)

Second Runner-Up: NTM NTM - Judy Garland (Tom O'Brien, Winchester)

First Runner-Up: FCC YOU - Howard Stern (Terri Levine, Herndon)

And the Winner of the Irresponsible Books About Robbery, Torture and other Mayhem:

[Table]
FOR! - Dan Quayle (Don Beale, Arlington)
Honorable Mentions:

ONLYACAR - Sigmund Freud (Robert Hofheimer, Norfolk)

I 4 GOT - Ronald Reagan (Anna Sokol, Alexandria)

1 2 MANY - John Riggins (Gordon Angell, McLean)

YES DEAR - Bill Clinton (Tom Crites, Gaithersburg)

I/M - Jack the Ripper (Kathy Weisse, Sykesville)

[Table]
QUAIL1 - Dan Quayle (Eric D. Greenberg, Washington)
IM L8 - Bill Clinton (Jonathan S. Silber, Bethesda)

(A blank plate) - Al Gore (George C. Montgomery, Bethesda)

(A blank plate) - J.P. Sartre (Ken Schwartz, Burke)

\#\#\\\#\# - LAPD cars (E. Kelly Merritte, Charleston, W.Va.)

[Table]
1/8/40- - Elvis Presley (Neil Molenda, Arlington)
I C U - George Orwell (Kathy Weisse, Sykesville)
COPY +.+ - Joe Biden (Harold Mantle, Darnestown)
TRODHAM - Hillary Clinton (Hoops, Alexandria)

FEELINGS - Bob Packwood (Nick Dierman, Potomac)

[Table]
GO CAPS - e.e. cummings (Rich Isaacman and Kathy Pedelty,

Bowie)

And Last,

SO LONG - deceased porn star John Holmes (Margaret Welch, Arlington)

NEXT WEEK: A WEEK THAT WILL LIVE IN EUPHEMY.

[Illustration]
ILLUSTRATION


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