The Style Invitational Week 973 A Real Triple Crown

By Pat Myers, Thursday, May 24, 2:29 PM


We’ve had 19 years of our signature Foaling Around contest — in which the Losers “breed” two names of Triple Crown-eligible horses and name the foal. And it’s been seven years of the “grandfoals,” in which you breed any two results of the first contest. Let’s find out if there’s life in the old nag yet. As with the Belmont Stakes in horse racing’s Triple Crown, this third leg is harder, and not as likely to draw thousands of entries. But that means the odds are improved for those who load into the starting gate. At the suggestion of Loser Jonathan Hardis, we’re calling this contest “Unlucky in Love”:


This week: The horses in this week’s list (it’s at the bottom of this week’s Invite, after the results) either produced no inking “foals” in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby or Preakness but weren’t on the initial list. “Breed” any two and name the foal, just as in Week 965 or 969. As usual, names must not exceed 18 characters including spaces. You may resubmit entries you sent in Week 965.


Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a toilet handle with a battery-operated night light built into it. Because it’s really hard to guess where the handle of a toilet is. Donated by Andrea Kelly.


Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the new, ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 4; results published June 24 (online June 22). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 973” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Beverley Sharp; the alternative headline in the “Next week” line is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at .


Report from Week 969, our seventh annual “grandfoals” contest. As in previous years, this week’s grandfoal names didn’t usually take into account every element of the parents’ names, since those names were often puns already.


The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial


Myth Congeniality x Paul Bunion = Sandra Bull Ox (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.)


2. Winner of the jewelry-holder figurine who has snaking wires where her head should be: Forest Grump x Do Wit Yourself = Surly, You Jest (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)


3. Kneel Diamond x Fairway to Heaven = I’m a Bereaver (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.)


4. G. Queue x 20,000 Leaks = G. Whiz (John Winant, Bellevue, Neb.)


The beaten track: Honorable mentions


Iraqnid x SAT on a Tuffet = Kurds Is to Whey (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)


Matzo Ballistic x Fairway to Heaven = Let My People Golf (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)


A Perfect X x Two Dollar Hose = Bo L’eggs (George-Ann Rosenberg, Washington)


Deep Throat x Amish Stripper = Hoarse and Buggy (Susan Thompson, Cary, N.C.)


Yankee Doodled x James Joist = Babe Roof (Duane Douglass, Monterey Park, Calif., a First Offender)


I’ll Halve Another x A Perfect X = An Okay V (Steven Alan Honley, Washington)


eLope x James Joist = HappilyEverRafter (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)


Never Felt Beta x Just First Base = But Alpha Was Nice (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)


Elle Was Taken x No Ship, Sherlock = Come ’igh Water (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church, Va.)


Matzo Ballistic x ESPQR = Challah N Circuses (Mark Richardson, Washington)


Did-Wop x No Ship, Sherlock = Run Aground, Sue (George-Ann Rosenberg)


Lionel Richies x Where Are My Pants = Commode Doors (J.D. Berry)


Lionel Richies x I’ll Halve Another = 1.5 Times a Lady (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)


SAT on a Tuffet x Ramen Numerals = Testing I, II, III (Becky V. Fisher, Madison, Wis., a First Offender)


Keith Mooning x No Ship, Sherlock = The Who Dunnit (Steve Price, New York)


La Femme Makita x Where Are My Pants = Ryobi/GYN (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)


Prig Latin x Kiss My Ascot = Orje-jay Ill-way (Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)


No x Tipper Over = oN (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.; Craig Dykstra)


Sex Fifth Avenue x Prig Latin = Libid. (Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria, Va.)


Pork Avenue x Summa Cum Loud = Jimmy Dean’s List (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)


Pork Avenue x Two Dollar Hose = Bangers and Rash (Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.)


Amish Stripper x Rowed to Damascus = In Syria’s Trouble (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)


Sex Fifth Avenue x SAT on a Tuffet = The Naked Settee (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)


Yo, I Got Immunity x Take a Stab at It = Mock the Knife (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring, Md.)


Two Dollar Hose x 20,000 Leaks = $50 Soaker Hose (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)


Never Felt Beta x Yankee Doodled = Gamma Moses (Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)


Paul Bunion x Forest Grump = The Lore Axe (Sammy Thompson, Cary, N.C.; Eric Fritz, Silver Spring, Md.)


Om Depot x Rowed to Damascus = Swami River (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)


Butt Kraken x Luxury Cubicle = Corner Orifice (Charles Trahan, Jessup, Md.)


Pork Avenue x Matzo Ballistic = Leviticussed (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)


Amish Stripper x 20,000 Leaks = Colander Girl(Dudley Thompson)


J. Paul Yeti x Simon Cowl = Abominable Showman (Lawrence McGuire; Don Kirkpatrick, Waynesboro, Pa; Dave Silberstein, College Park, Md.)


J. Paul Yeti x Paul Bunion = Abominable Toeman (Chris Doyle)


J. Paul Yeti x Raining Buckets = Abominable Eauman (Steve Honley)


20,000 Leaks x Never Felt Beta = Psis of Relief (Brian Cohen, Lexington, Va.)


Pate Pending X 20,000 Leaks = Liver and Onions (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)


Fairway to Heaven x Ambassadork = Green With Envoy (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)


Auto Eroticism x Amish Stripper = LookUnderTheBonnet (Dudley Thompson)


Deep Throat x Amish Stripper = Hoarse and Buggy (Susan Thompson)


Amish Stripper x Summa Cum Loud = Wild Hautes (Jonathan Paul)


Henry Kissing Her x Appian Carefree = It’s Loverly (Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)


No Ship, Sherlock x Auto Eroticism = Arthur Onan Doyle (Chris Doyle)


Auto Eroticism x La Femme Makita = Peter O-Tool (Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)


Auto Eroticism x Just First Base = Really Unlucky (Jeremy Levin, Washington)


Deep Throat x Auto Eroticism = Because He Can (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.; Harvey Smith)


eLope x Elle Was Taken = ope (David Ballard, Reston, Va.)


Four Part Homily x Fairway to Heaven = Fore N Brimstone (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)


Forest Grump x I’ll Halve Another = A Grouse Divided (Lawrence McGuire)


Greet the Nude A x Matzo Ballistic = Naked Launch (Harold Mantle, Lafayette, Calif.)


Greet the Nude A x I’ll Halve Another = Schlong of Solomon (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)


Summa Cum Loud x I’ll Halve Another = What She’s Halving (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)


Luxury Cubicle x Fairway to Heaven = Coroner Office (Suzanne S. Moseman, Minneapolis)


Muir Cowbell x Just First Base = Don’tFeelTheReaper (Jonathan Hardis)


Om Depot x Ramen Numerals = Chants-n-Counters (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)


Praise the Ford! x Tipper Over = Edsel Roll (Ellen Raphaeli)


Pate Pending x Do Wit Yourself = Do Wig Yourself (Craig Dykstra)


Where Are My Pants x Pork Avenue = Moon Over My Hammy (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)


Kneel Diamond x Pork Avenue = A Ham I Said (Rob Wolf)


Still running — deadline Monday night — is the compare-or-contrast contest; see


The “unlucky-in-love” horses for Week 973:



Big Blue Spirit




Chief Gaga

Cigar Street


Creative Cause

Currency Swap

Done Talking


El Padrino

Fly Lexis Fly

Fox Rules

Full Cry

Got What


Jake Mo


Lemon Juice

Lime Drop Kid





Stereo in Motion

Take Charge Indy

Teeth of the Dog

The Caller


Went the Day Well



Next week: Couple It, or bAArds