The Style Invitational Week 955: Twits’ Twist

By Pat Myers, Friday, January 20, 5:15 AM


Meteor remote: It lets a couch potato repel falling space junk without getting off his fat asteroid.


Inspired by the word-pairing challenge of Week 951, whose results run this week, Loser Ann Martin suggests a variant: This week: Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it, as in our artist Bob Staake’s very Bobbian example above. The anagram of a single word may be a multi-word phrase, or vice versa.


Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a 2012 Talking Fortune Teller calendar — a large wall-hanger with two buttons that call forth various male and female predictions that are about as daring as a blue blazer and khaki pants at a D.C. budget hearing (e.g., “The odds are in your favor — if your intention is clear”). Donated by the Style section’s Donna Peremes, who bought it but said it had started to “creep me out.” Donna is easily creeped out, clearly.


Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 30; results published Feb. 19 (Feb. 17 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 955” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at The revised title for next week was submitted by both Tom Witte and Dave Prevar; the subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at


Report from Week 951, in which we asked you to pair a word with the same word (or the same spelling) or with a homophone — a differently spelled word that sounds the same — and define the resulting phrase. Because the Empress has absolute power niftily combined with Always Knowing What’s Best, she decided also to allow a word to be “paired” with a multi-word phrase, and for two multi-word phrases. If you disapprove of the violators, please do not be amused by them.


The winner of the Inker


Fact shun faction: The Fox News Channel lineup. (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.)


2. Winner of the Dear Leader Tongue Scraper, picturing Kim Jong-Il on the package: Auntie-dote antidote: Spray to ward off smoochy relatives. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)


3. Caucasus caucuses: “Everyone who favor Oleg, line up in this corner over here. Everyone who favor other guys, line up in front of open pit.” (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)


4. Ta-ta ta-ta: Breast reduction. (Dion Black, Washington)


Nixed doubles: honorable mentions


Airline err line: The lost-luggage counter. (Kathy Hardis Fraeman)


Ark arc: A rainbow. (Jason Talbott, Pendleton, Ore., a First Offender)


Awful offal:What sweetbreads look like the moment you realize they are neither sweet nor bread. (Nandini Lal, Bethesda, Md.)


Aye eye: A come-hither look. (Brad Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia; Kevin Dopart, Washington)


Baskin-Robbins’ Baskin’ Robins:A failed ice cream flavor that tasted like warm feathers. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel, Md.)


Boll Bowl: Football game where at halftime the crowd sings “Weevil weevil rock you!” (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)


Boring boring: Uninspired adult movies. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)


Bris squawk brisk walk: What many a new father has to do as soon as the ceremony is completed. (Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)


Bunga bunga: I tink you say in English “executive privilege.” — S. Berlusconi (Roger Carignan, Guatemala City, a First Offender)


Butte beaut: Montana Hannah. (Melissa Balmain, Rochester, N.Y.)


Dip-thong diphthong: Yeow! That’s a low bikini! (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)


Does does: Gets carried away at the stag party. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington. Va.)


Faux foe: The charmingly annoying co-star at the beginning of any romantic comedy. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)


Faux tow photo: Car insurance fraud. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)


Feted-fetid: The career trajectory of many a politician. (Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland)


Fly fly: A really tiny zipper. (Ron Averyt, Severna Park, Md.)


Gilt guilt: What the top 1 percent don’t suffer from. (Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.)


Hangover hang-over: Traditional position at the porcelain throne. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)


Jerk in jerkin: Unavoidable sight at every Renaissance festival. (Kevin Dopart)


Junk junk: To undergo sex reassignment surgery. (Brad Alexander)


Kraft craft: The ancient art of turning cheese into plastic. (Stephen Gold)


Leek leak: It refreshes, but lacks that fine bouquet of an asparagus whiz. (Roy Ashley, Washington)


Minor miner: Newt Gingrich’s plan to help Appalachian families out of poverty. (Kathye Hamilton, Annandale, Va.)


Mitt mitt: The glove reluctantly selected from the dugout because all the others were missing, had huge holes, or were burned up. (Jon Hensley, Washington, a First Offender)


Mount Mount: The highest point on Lovers’ Lane. (Nick Laflamme, Austin)


Moo muu: Muumuu. (Brian Cohen, Potomac, Md.)


Putin pootin’: For 10 years it didn’t even smell. (Steve Offutt, Arlington, Va.)


Stayed staid: Calvin Coolidge’s most notable achievement. (Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)


Styx sticks: Oars. (Beverley Sharp)


Staake Stack: A pile of cartoons in your bathroom, for reading and them, um, repurposing. (Bill Verkuilen, Brooklyn Park, Minn.)


Sundae Sunday:The Mama Cass song that never reached the charts. (Dave Komornik, Danville, Va.)


Tex texts techs: What a cowboy does when his iPod isn’t working properly. (Neal Starkman, Seattle)


Toilet toylet: A fixture in Barbie’s Dream House. (Barry Sackin, Murrieta, Ga., a First Offender)


Toto toe tow: How to get Dorothy across the Field of Poppies. (Ann Martin)


And Last: Verses versus verses: The Style Invitational limerick competitions. (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)


And Even Laster: Losing Loo Zing: New air-freshener prize for First Offenders. (Ann Martin)


Next week: Dead Letters, or Hearsery Rhymes