The Style Invitational Week 943 Ask Backwards

By Pat Myers Friday, October 28, 8:00 AM


Dancing With the Armadillos


 9-9-1, 342


Twilight VII


Ben & Jerry’s next flavor


141 characters


Roman cavalry choirs


Dan Snyder’s new dinghy


A crumpet and marmalade party


The far corner of Michelle Obama’s garden


Not until after Thanksgiving


Only if you delete two words


The Easter Bunny but not the Tooth Fairy


It’s by far the most repeated Style Invitational contest — the Empress had run it seven times in her 407-week-old reign; the Czar, 21 times in 535 weeks — but we hadn’t let it loose on you for two full years. This week: You are on “Jeopardy!” Above are the 12 “answers.” You supply the questions for as many as you like.


Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a book of Day of the Dead paper dolls, with which you can dress a handsome pair of seńor-and-seńora skeletons in an array of fancy duds. Definitely what the well-dressed bones will be wearing next Nov. 1 (of course we conveniently made it just a little too late to use this year). Donated a shamefully long time ago by Lois Douthitt.


Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Nov. 7; results published Nov. 27 (Nov. 25 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 943” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at The revised title for next week is by Chris Doyle; this week’s honorable-mentions subhead is by Jeff Contompasis.


Report from Week 939, in which we asked you to “mash” two movie titles and describe the result:


The winner of the Inker:


The Social Network Network: “I’m mad as hell and I’m going not going to Like it anymore!” (Kathye Hamilton, Annandale, Va.)


2. Winner of the book “More Chinglish,” featuring comically messed-up English-language signs found in China: Grumpy Old Yeller: A family decides it has no choice but to shoot Grandpa. (Trevor Kerr, Chesapeake, Va.)


3. Stand and Deliverance: A math teacher at a boys’ school in Georgia demands excellence of his students – OR ELSE! (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)


4. Taxi Driver With the Wind: The Holland Tunnel never seemed so long. (Jim Lubell, Mechanicsville, Md.)


Filmy residue: Honorable mentions


Black Swan Down: 123 elite ballet dancers drop into Somalia for an intense, desperate audition. (Mike Caslin, Round Hill, Va.)


Sixth Sense and Sensibility: “I see boring people.” (Dave Ferry, Key West, Fla.; Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)


Bridget Jones’s Motorcycle Diaries: How to eat, whine and faux-pas your way across South America. (Arden Levine, New York, a First Offender)


The 2010 Commandments: Moses receives His unedited first draft. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)


The French Cone-ection: Beldar and Prymaat deal drugs that they get from . . . France. (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)


Twelve Angry Monkeys: Thanks to an intelligence-enhancing serum, the Scopes trial takes an unforeseen turn. With Andy Serkis as Juror No. 8. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)


Se7en Samurai: I can’t tell you the ending, but it involves Gwyneth Paltrow’s head and a bento box. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, Va.)


Dumbo Geste: A stupid, comically conspicuous yet heroic fugitive joins the French Foreign Legion. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)


Born Free Willy: Animal-rights activists set an orca free on the Serengeti Plain, with disastrous results. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)


Syriana Karenina: A Russian socialite is so confused by multiple story lines, characters and locations that she throws herself under a train. (John Shea, Philadelphia)


There’s Something About Mary Poppins: Her hair is always practically perfect — must be her special gel. (Dave Coutts, Severna Park, Md.)


The Breakfast Fight Club: “Leggo my Eggo!” (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)


Fantastic Rear Window Voyage: Colonoscopy: The Musical — toe-tappin’, tail-tippin’ fun! (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)


Dr. No Strings Attached: “The name’s Bond . . . just Bond; let’s not drag full names into this.” (Danny Bravman, Chicago)


Dances With Werewolves: And you thought Carrie could wreck a prom! (Cheryl Davis, Arlington, Va.)


Gone With a Mighty Wind: A day in the life of Pepco. (Doug Frank, Crosby, Tex.)


The Aristocratatouilles: Some of America’s best-known chefs try their hand at doing something with eggplant. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh)


Stairway to Heaven Can Wait: Judgment Day arrives when God’s evacuation plan is nixed by the House Transportation Committee. (Jim Reagan, Herndon)


Who’s Afraid of Dancing with Virginia Wolves?: “America’s Got Talent” meets “Survivor.” (David Heller, Silver Spring, a First Offender)


Left Behind the Green Door: Performers in an adult theater experience the Rapture, leaving the audience members to entertain themselves and one another. (Valerie Matthews, Ashton)


Glen, Garry, Glen, Ross, Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice: Double the fun with so many more permutations! (Michael Greene, Alexandria)


Annie Halloween: The horror of having an affair with Woody Allen. (Howard Walderman, Columbia)


Swept Away We Were: Yoda is shipwrecked on a beach with a spoiled rich Communist sympathizer. (Jeff Brechlin)


They Shoot Hoosiers, Don’t They?: The Illinois-Indiana basketball rivalry turns deadly. (Mark Asquino, Washington)


Charlotte’s Tangled Web: Wilbur, naively following Charlotte’s scheming advice, ends up as breakfast links. (Peter Metrinko, Gainesville, Va.)


Knocked Up in the Air: If George Clooney got you pregnant, would he still have to fire you? (Daniel Pollack-Pelzner, Portland, Ore., a First Offender)


Braveheartbreak: The sad but true story of Atlanta baseball, September 2011. (Brian Cohen, Potomac, Md.)


Das Booty Call: In this romantic comedy set in the waning days of WWII, a bunker-bound Adolf dials up Eva only to have their late-night tryst interrupted by a band of rowdy GIs. (Keith Waites, Frederick, Md.)


Around the World in 300 Days: Phileas Fogg’s plans are stymied when he has make a connection through O’Hare. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)


Throw Momma From the Hospital: When her insurance coverage runs out, the death panels take over. (Marcy Alvo, Annandale, Va.)


School of Roctopussy: Jack Black teaches a classroom of kids the benefits of playing lead guitar. (J.D. Berry, Springfield)


A Star Is Born Ultimatum: A man threatens to leave his wife if she makes him see one more Barbra Streisand movie. (David Kleinbard)


Next week: Our Type o’ Headline, or Har Copy