The Style Invitational Week 888 Itís the eponomy stupid

By The Empress

Saturday, October 2, 2010; C02

 

How the Empress's mind works:

 

1. Come across a photo feature from Life magazine's Web site on "people who became nouns" -- Mr. Silhouette, Mr. Boycott, Edsel Ford, etc.

 

2. Think: Steal idea and use as a contest?

 

3. Then think: We did eponyms already, didn't we?

 

4. Find out that we did eponyms twice already, most recently in 2006.

 

5. Note that most of those inking entries were for people no longer in the news, and were unlikely to be repeated.

 

6. This week: Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence.

 

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a Loser T-shirt that the Loser cannot wear. Because it has been made into a huge puffy pillow by Loser Scion Alexandra Bennett, a University of Missouri student and daughter of 95-time Loser Drew. It's shown here by Loser Scion Ethan Black, 4, a pre-pre-pre-college student and the son of 22-time Loser Dion.

 

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 11. Put "Week 888" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Oct. 30. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Tom Witte. The honorable-mentions subhead is by Russell Beland.

 

Report from Week 884, in which we asked you to combine two products:

 

The winner of the Inker

 

Poop 'n' Scoop Canadian Winter Gloves: With built-in tongs, plus a special pocket where you can place your dog's business and keep your hands warm for the rest of the walk. (Scott Weinstein, Montreal)

 

2. winner of the gospel-singing stuffed lamb:The Crowbarcalounger: A comfy recliner with a useful hidden accessory for when it's time for Fred to take out the trash. (George Smith, Frederick)

 

3. The Roombazooka: Combination robo-vac and missile launcher -- sit back and relax while all the crap in your attic turns into space junk. (Bob Klahn, Wiilmington, Del.)

 

4.Green Eggs and Bam!: Garbage disposal attachment for the back of your fridge so you can just push out the stuff you wouldn't ever touch again. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

 

Paired down: Honorable mentions

 

Viagranola: The breakfast guaranteed to get you up in the morning. Great with wild oats. (Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland; Beverley Sharp, Washington)

 

Tango: An orange-flavored beverage powder that's also a powerful laxative. (Russell Beland, Fairfax)

 

Purse-Into-Flames: A handbag with a built-in incinerator for the next time you're stopped for driving while famous. -- P. Hilton (Kevin Dopart)

 

Combining a motion detector and sprinkler system would discourage the neighbor from "walking" his dog in your yard. (Pam Sweeney, St. Paul, Minn.)

 

Remotrin: Head hurts so bad you can't get up off the couch? Just click, and the ibuprofen comes to you. (Lennie Magida, Potomac)

 

The Rolling Pint: While making those pie crusts, Grandma can keep a nip within easy reach with this built-in kitchen flask. (For larger appetites: the Tuna Fifth casserole dish.) (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

 

The Buzzkiller: Make crowd control at any high school football game a snap -- at the pep rally, hand out these wireless Breathalyzer-kazoos. (Kevin Dopart)

 

Pepcocacola: A mix of Pepsis and Coke that gives you extra energy (not always available in summer and winter). (Russell Beland)

 

A car and a box: Ikia, a Korean-Swedish automotive venture in which you take home all the parts and two Allen wrenches and you put it together yourself. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

 

Pepcorn: A movie theater snack coated with caffeinated butter, enabling guys on dates to stay awake through romantic comedies. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

 

Bradio (bra and radio): Don't touch those dials! (Christopher Lamora)

 

Sidewalk with a tollbooth: Dan Snyder's latest idea to gouge fans at FedEx Field. (Craig Dykstra)

 

A cable subscription with hemorrhoid ointment: Preparation HGTV, for those who sit and watch other people renovate houses. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

 

He-PS: Combines a condom with a TomTom to give the man in your life the directions he needs to help you "reach your destination." (Dion Black, Washington)

 

The Mapnifier: A detailed miniature road atlas with a magnifying glass. Never be lost driving again! Attaches to the dash with a handy suction cup. Updates available annually. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)

 

Mugnet: The new yearned-for Style Invitational prize for Losers who keep misplacing their coffee. (Mike Caslin, Round Hill, Va., a First Offender)

 

Next week: Mess with our heads, or Fake it to the bank