The Style Inviational Week 857 All FED up

Saturday, February 20, 2010; C02


As this week's results demonstrate yet again, the Losers' gushing font of neologism seems never to run dry. So let's turn that contest on its head.


This week: Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet. The three letters may stretch across a hyphen or two words.


Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets -- only if the Loser really would like it, because we want to see it go to a loving home -- this diorama depicting "Sweeney Todd," with actual Peeps marshmallow bunnies as the human characters (including the meat pie material). An honorable-mention winner in last year's Washington Post Peeps diorama contest, "The Demon Barber of Peep Street" was created and donated by Losers Craig Dykstra and Lois Douthitt. We're not going to risk mailing it (but could drive it to you), so if you're not in the D.C. area, or you'd rather not gaze repeatedly upon this cubic-foot-or-so sculpture, we'll send you a mug or T-shirt instead.


Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, March 1. Put "Week 857" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published March 20. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results and this week's honorable-mentions subhead are both by Jeff Contompasis.


Report from Week 853, in which we asked you to create new words or terms that contain a block of three successive letters of the alphabet (going forward):


The winner of the Inker


Coughin: A small enclosure designed especially for smokers. (John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)


2. the winner of the little solar-powered "dancing cactus": Mno: The kind of response that makes you want to ask her again. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh)


3. Noplow: The District's snow emergency plan. (Jack Clark, Westfield, N.J., a First Offender)


4. Geode-face: Someone whose beauty is "sparkling inside." (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)


Tri again: Honorable mentions


Abcadaver: The woman who really did get sawed in half in the magic act. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)


Afghanistunned: Simply amazed that a country the British Empire and Soviet Union couldn't conquer might put up a tough fight. (Russell Beland, Fairfax)


Bat-uvula: A weird glob of something that hangs from your ceiling. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)


Beef galosh: Really tough steak. (Beverley Sharp, Washington)


Blooperstown: Where Bill Buckner's headed. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)


Cudgelmnemonics: The old-school practice of hitting the kid until he got it right. (Peter Metrinko, Gainesville)


Defeast: Barf. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)


Defecrate: A porta-potty. (Howard Walderman, Columbia)


Deficits pending: The fate of a public that wants lower taxes and higher government benefits. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)


Deflawyered: Screwed by one's attorney. (Jan Brandstetter, Mechanicsville, Md.)


Mnomonic: A device that helps you forget. (Willard Goodman, Bethesda; Cathy Lamaze, North Potomac, both First Offenders; Kyle Hendrickson, Frederick)


Flabcake: Beefcake after a number of years and a number of beers. (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, a First Offender)


Flabcoitus: When two heavy people make love, it's like having their own built-in waterbed. (Peter Metrinko)


Franklindelanophobia: The fear of fear itself. (Chris Doyle)


Gandhi jacket: A loincloth. (Kevin Dopart)


Gopquiz: A test in which the answer to every question is "No." (Brian Baker, Washington)


GPStupido: Someone who blindly trusts technology to the point of following the direction to "turn left and proceed" in the middle of the Wilson Bridge. (Craig Dykstra)


Granophone: Last year's Nokia. (David Kleinbard, Jersey City)


Guanopolis: Rhymes-with-city city. (Kevin Dopart)


Hearstay: Unsubstantiated gossip that lives forever on the Internet. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)


Hijerk: A terrorist who tries to take over an airplane by threatening to blow his pants off. (Jim Noble, Lexington Park)


Hog Hillel: A barbecue joint that never got any customers. (Kevin Dopart)


Hymnosis: The method televangelists use to encourage people to part with their money. (Dion Black, Washington)


Laughingstick: An embarrassingly small member. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)


Limbaughing: Seeing how low you can go. (Erik Wennstrom, Bloomington, Ind.)


Luvwoo: Kissy-talk that causes others to vomit. (Kyle Hendrickson)


Noplanetarium: The new Pluto Museum. (Judith Cottrill, New York)


Ohnophile: Someone obsessed with gloom and doom. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)


Popquest: A visit to the sperm bank. (George Smith, Frederick)


Prenope: An agreement to abstain until the wedding night. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)


Omnoxious: Managing to annoy everyone. (Tracy Griggs, Reston, a First Offender)


Rotwurst: Roadkill. (Tom Witte)


Sexyzygote: The one that wins the race. (Laura Miller, Gainesville)


Side-fry: Illegitimate children. (Tom Witte)


Snide-flushing: Repeatedly running the toilet in the stall next to the guy on the cellphone. (Kevin Dopart)


Stud pharm: The Viagra factory. (Craig Dykstra)


Stupa dupa: A really good Buddhist. (Robert J. Inlow, Charlottesville, a First Offender)


Xenophib: Spiteful lie told to tourists (e.g., "You'll want to take the Metro Green Line to Georgetown . . ."). (Randy Lee, Burke)


Zaideflora: The thick growth that sprouts out of old men's ears. (Michelle Stupak, Ellicott City)


And Last: FirStank: Why you didn't win a tree-shaped air freshener. (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church)


Next week: What's not to liken? or Parallel lines